To fence or not to fence.

Actually, that's not even the question. Of course we will fence; we're about to have a kid who will inevitably want to run around outside at some point, and the five-strand barbed wire fence that separates our yard from the prairie is surely inappropriate at best. Plus, it sure would be nice to have a place to chuck the dog in the early morning hours when he wants to go out and I'm just not ready to give up my warm bed.

But what to fence with? And how to do it? Those are the questions we're dealing with. On one side, we have a neighbor whose yard was fenced before we moved in. They used the most popular fencing material in our neighborhood, white vinyl, easily purchased at Lowe's or Home Depot and relatively inexpensive. Now, our neighbors on the other side are planning to start their own fencing project, and they wish to use stained cedar, which definitely looks a lot classier than the vinyl fencing does. So we're going to be mismatched either way we go.

I see a real benefit to the vinyl fencing. It is inexpensive and low maintenance. It is also probably a little easier to install than the wood fence. But the wood fence really does look nice. So we have a decision to make. At some point. Heck, the little munchkin won't be running around for over a year, so we have time.

The other problem is, how to fence? Ideally, I would like to fence as far forward on both sides of the house as possible, all the way up to the front corners of the house. That would give us maximum yard space, which we really need because our back yard is extremely small. On the "wood" side of the house, that won't be a problem, although the front corner of our house is much farther forward than that of our neighbors' house. It probably means we'd have to add on to the front of their fence to extend it as far forward as we can. But all we have on that side of the house is the side of the garage with the rear garage door, and one single basement egress window. As long as that garage door and the egress window are behind the fence, they are somewhat protected.

The other side, "vinyl", is the problem. Our neighbor on that side lives on a plot that is just the beginning of a cul-de-sac part of our street. This means their plot is at maybe a bit of an angle to ours. Their house sits at an odd angle on the lot, as well, so the side of their house does not run exactly parallel to ours. They fenced from the back corner of their house on that side, and the back corner is not as far forward on the lot as ours is. So if we just came off their post, our fence would run at an angle to get to the back corner of ours. It would look strange. Not to mention that it would do nothing to maximize our meager yard. But if we were to fence forward of their fence, we run into another problem. I suspect that the property line is not what is delineated by where the neighbor has built a decorative wall (part of their lot is a little higher than ours). I think the property line probably veers away a bit from that little wall, some of the grass we mow as "ours" is actually on their property. So how weird is it going to look if we fence along the property line, and will someone be able to fit a mower or weedwhacker in there to take care of the grass?

We'll just have to see. The fence isn't high priority until the spud starts walking. Although I'm sure the dog would like it...

Our toy-containment system...

Got to go back to Memphis for the weekend, to attend the graduation of this year's seniors (whom I taught three years ago as freshmen). While we were there, a lot of people asked if we missed Memphis.

There were things ASSOCIATED with Memphis that we did miss. We got to see our kayaking buddies, and we had certainly missed them. We haven't had a chance to go paddling since we moved here, and we haven't met any kayakers yet. Since I'm not going to be able to kayak this season (being pregnant kinda cuts down on the activities one can participate in), so it looks like my husband won't have much opportunity either, since a kayaker shouldn't paddle alone. It isn't just the kayaking itself, but the fellowship associated with it that we really miss. It was great to join the group for one last night, trading stories, laughing, and just generally belonging to something. That is something that we just haven't found here yet.

We also got to visit our former places of employment and chat with our former coworkers. I know my husband, while he certainly does not miss the management and bureaucracy of his company, did really enjoy talking to his friends and commiserating with them about the state of the company these days. Everyone said they were glad that he got out when he did (many of them have been given severance and are just working there on deals with the company to remain for a certain length of time). While he might not have gotten laid off, he might have been asked to move to Florida, where their headquarters are. That was something we didn't want to do.

I was very happy to go visit the school and see my teacher friends and my former students. Everyone was happy to see me, and they all said they missed me. That is something I haven't found yet in Billings. While I've gotten to meet a few teachers in some of the schools in the area (and even went for coffee with one of them), and I've had a few students who now recognize me when I go to a school and seem pleased to see me, I just haven't got a place where I belong yet. I look forward to a chance to have my own classroom with my own stuff, and my own kids, and coworkers than I can get to know. As I stood in the halls of my former school, some students and coworkers walked past me at first, then suddenly realized I was there (there was some squealing from students), because they said it just seemed so normal to see me in the hallways. I really miss that, having a place of employment where I so obviously fit in. I know I will find a place eventually (probably not this coming school year but the next), but that was surely something I have missed.

We also ate at some of our favorite restaurants. We've got good restaurants here in Billings, but we are missing good cheese fries (which we got at Huey's burger place) and really good barbecue (which we got at The BBQ Shop--ribs--and at world-famous Corky's--pulled pork and the best potato salad EVER). Just some regional items that we couldn't expect to find elsewhere.

But as much as we missed our friends/coworkers/paddling buddies and our restaurants, there were an awful lot of things we DIDN'T miss. We got off the plane at midnight on Wednesday, stepped down onto the tarmac, and immediately wilted from the heat and humidity. We endured a couple of wicked nasty thunderstorms with tornado watches associated with them. We have yet to have a weather issue here in Billings that might be associated with potential DEATH. As we drove around Memphis, we witnessed a driver on the interstate cut across five full lanes of traffic rather abruptly with no signaling to reach an offramp. We drove through massive traffic, everywhere we went. We paid *gasp* SALES TAX. We had to lock the doors of the car no matter where we left it (it was a nice Cadillac CTS). There was an evening in Billings we went to a restaurant, and my husband leaned back out the door to make sure he had "honked" the car locks. A guy sitting and waiting in the restaurant laughed and said, "You locked it? Heck, you could leave the keys in it around here!" We left our garage door open accidentally one day, for an entire day, and nothing at all was missing when we returned in the evening. That sort of thing just doesn't happen in the South. Heck, our crappy car was stolen three different times while we lived in Memphis, just in a three-year span of time!

So, while we were very glad to see all our friends, there just wasn't enough in Memphis to keep us there. We were both glad to leave on Sunday morning, and very glad to get home on Sunday afternoon. I hope some of our friends will come visit us soon, because otherwise we probably won't get to see them again for a long time, since I won't be much for traveling and we don't have a lot of reason to return any time soon. Maybe for next year's graduation...

The neighborhood is starting to come alive, after a long winter. We were the last people to move into the neighborhood last fall. Once winter rolled in, everything stagnated. There were between 10 and 15 houses for sale (either through realtors or through the owners) that sat empty all winter. Likewise, there were two houses that were partially built that sat lonely and somewhat haunted through the cold nights. And there were about 15 empty lots, full of snow, mud, and the occasional tumbleweed.

But finally, the snows have melted, the temperatures have climbed (to the 50's, whoo!), and movement has appeared in the neighborhood. It appears at least three of the houses that were for sale all winter long have been sold and occupied. The two unfinished houses have been completed. Ground has been broken (and in two cases framing has already been completed) on three of the empty lots. And in one area in the neighborhood that has just been a big empty field, underground electrical wiring has been laid and it seems that a road may be paved before too long. Not sure if these will be houses in the field, or perhaps commercial properties (man, if we could get a grocery store up here, that would be awesome), but it is progress, and it is welcome.

There are many dichotomies into which the human population can be divided. Dog people and cat people, chocolate and vanilla, morning people and sane people. But one division I have come to know very well in my 10 1/2 years of marriage is this: snooze-button people vs. non-snooze-button people.

I am a non-snooze-button person. Not that I have anything really against the idea of the snooze button; I've just never used it. As a kid my alarm clock didn't even have a snooze button. It was one of those old square analog clocks with the extra hand you set on the time you want the alarm to get up. Then you pull the stem on the back of the clock, and when it reaches the time you set, the alarm goes off. To turn it off, just push the stem back in. My alarm clock was also all the way across my bedroom (I didn't want it beside my bed because I could hear the clock humming and it kept me awake)so I had to get up and walk across my room to shut the clock off. By that point, I was fully awake, and there was no sense in resetting the alarm at that point and going back to sleep. When I got older, I got a similar alarm clock, but it did have a snooze button across the top. However, in all the time I owned the clock, I never did use it. In college, I actually got hypnotized as a freshman, and one of the "commands" I was given (according to one of my best friends) was that I would always wake up when my alarm went off. While I can't say for sure it's because of this command, I can say for sure that I have never in my life slept through my alarm. So a snooze button doesn't do me any good. I do wake up right away (sometimes I actually wake up about a minute before the alarm goes off; I think the tone of the clock, even though it is digital, changes and I can hear it). I cannot go back to sleep in the nine minutes in between alarms, so the snooze button really doesn't serve any purpose for me. I would rather sleep soundly until the very last possible minute, and then get up.

My husband is a snooze-button guy. I don't know his personal history with snooze buttons; all I know is he uses it several times each morning, depending on how tired he is. Generally, the snooze button is hit twice each morning; by the third alarm, my husband is awake enough to roll out of bed. If he's really tired, the snooze button might get hit a third time, but he doesn't have a lot of extra time built into his morning, so he can't tarry in bed forever. We've never really discussed his use of the snooze button. I assume, since he is not a morning person and often does not sleep well at night, that he needs a couple of trial alarms before he finally commits to one. He probably just wakes up a little more each time, until he's finally awake enough to start his day. So, he really gets up out of bed about 20-30 minutes after the first alarm goes off.

Despite what you might think, the snooze-button issue has never been a hot-button (ha, see what I did there) topic in our marriage. For most of our marriage, I have been the one who gets up first in the mornings. With two alarm clocks, one on either side of the bed, and both alarm clocks with the capability to set two separate alarm times, we were able to control our own morning destinies. I would get up early, no snooze button needed, and walk the dog, eat breakfast, go to the gym, and head out to work. My husband, on the other hand, would hit the snooze button a few times, then get up and get on his way, quite a bit later than I had. I can't say how many times he would hit snooze, since I wasn't present, but I know that he did.

Now, if I didn't have to work, like in the summers, the snooze button would come into play in my life. But it still wasn't a problem. I would just snuggle up with my husband while he snoozed, before he would have to get up and head out to work. If I was really tired, I would walk the dog and then go back to bed after he left for work. Most of the time, I would just get up at the same time he did and start my day.

Since we have moved, however, the snooze-button has played a larger part in my life. Our second alarm clock is in our guest bedroom. This leaves one alarm clock in our bedroom, and it's on my side of the bed. If I have a subbing gig, I get up about half an hour before my husband's first alarm ever goes off, no snooze used for me. If I don't have to sub, I am now the keeper of the snooze button for my husband. I wake up, and hit the snooze alarm. I still don't fall back to sleep after the initial alarm; I generally just lay there with my eyes closed. When my husband seems a little more awake, usually after the second alarm, I will snuggle up next to him. But often, after the snooze is hit the second time, I'll get up and walk the dog, leaving my husband on the wrong side of the bed from the alarm clock and having to deal with his own snooze. I have no idea how many times he hits the snooze button after I get up; when I come back from the walk he's up and in the shower, typically.

It's this recent snooze-button situation that has made me ponder the snooze button in such detail. I had just never thought about it much before now, but since I'm the keeper of the snooze button, I have this pressure to perform that I've never had before.

Just a random thought for the day. Now I need a nap.

I recently discovered a really interesting blog, called Radical Parenting. It's basically parenting, from a teenager's perspective. While some posts could be just the ranting and raving of teens, complaining about the unjustness of their lives and their parents, there seem to be some valid points brought up in many of the topics that are discussed.

One of the most interesting ones I read was called "What Kind of Kid Do You Have?". The article discusses the four kinds of kids that exist in this millennial, highly electronic era. I've seen all four of these kinds of kids, and it was really enlightening to hear the teen's perspective on the effects of parenting on their coping skills.

The first type of kid is called "The Teacup", owing to their emotional fragility. These kids were treated as overly delicate by their parents. The parents worried so much about their physical and emotional health and well being that the kids were not allowed to go out and experience the variety of human emotions necessary to development. This is especially true of FAILURE. The parents prevented them from failing, one way or another, so now that the kids are growing into adults they do not have the ability to cope with everyday pressures and problems. The kids can't handle criticism and fall apart easily under even minor adversity. I saw a lot of these kids in the private school environment where I used to work. It was a small school, and special care was taken with many of the kids to ensure the most positive experience possible, in some cases to the detriment of the child. EVERYONE will fail at something in life; if a child is never exposed to failure while growing up, he or she will be completely incapable of coping with failure as an adult. What we're left with is either a person who utterly fears any kind of change or challenge, or worse, a person who completely gives up at life and barricades himself or herself inside (literally or figuratively).

The next kind of kid is "The Toastie". This is because of the "burn out" factor. These are kids who are heavily loaded with activities from a very young age, or who are heavily invested in a particular activity. I saw a lot of "Toasties" when I was coaching swimming. I had some GREAT swimmers, who really could have been successful swimming in college. Instead, they had spent so much time in the pool, and worked so hard, and sacrificed so much of their free time that they could have otherwise been spending with friends or just unwinding, that they quit swimming, in many cases right at the height of their abilities. They had missed out on so many of the fun things that come with just being a kid (unstructured time, self-driven play, just "hanging out") that they felt the need to drop the activity completely in order to preserve their sanity and stability. It's unfortunate to see talented kids get burnt out on a sport or activity that should be fun and enjoyable. While sports are common ground for "Toasties", they can be found in 4H, Boy and Girl Scouts, pretty much any activity. I worry about my nieces becoming "Toasties". They play soccer and basketball, do gymnastics, swim on the local swim team, and participate in church activities. Their days are heavily scheduled, plus they have year-round school. I'm always amazed when I hear their mom and dad outlining their schedules for the week. I was pretty lucky. While my parents encouraged me to participate in activities, I was never pushed to do so. If I didn't like a sport, I didn't have to continue it. I did not do any sports that ran concurrently (so no multi-sport seasons). I had plenty of down time to play with my friends or do what I wanted to do. And as I got older my parents helped me learn to budget my time so I had enough time to participate in the sports and activities I valued most plus still get my schoolwork done. If a kid wants to quit a sport or activity, it should be because he or she genuinely is no longer interested, not because he or she is stressed out, worn out, or burnt out.

The third type of kid is "The Turtle". This kid has never been taught to work for anything, perhaps because the parents sheltered him or her, or perhaps because he or she fell through the cracks and was passed along from one teacher/school to another without ever being held accountable for anything. These kids are allowed to be apathetic and lazy. It could be that, when the kids who need special help and the kids who are exceptionally high performing take up so much of the parents' and teachers' time, "The Turtle" just gets brushed aside as being neither too bad nor too good to merit much attention. Since they've been largely neglected or ignored, or simply left to their own devices because they were "getting by", they've never learned how to push themselves to be more successful. These are kids who will have NO idea what they want to do with their lives when they get out of high school. They may go to college, but they might not finish because they simply have never been given any kind of direction. Some of these kids are downright slackers, intentionally, because they don't care. As long as they can get by, they don't worry about ever actually being successful at anything.

The fourth kind of kid is "The Tyrant". These are the precious little shits I got SO tired of while working in a private school. In almost every case, "The Tyrant" was created by his or her parents. The parents condition the child to believe that he or she is brilliant, fabulous, talented, and just in general better and more important than everyone else. Many of these kids are pretty smart or reasonably talented, but to their parents (and more importantly to themselves) they are they most brilliant and most talented people on the planet. While they will often put a fair amount of effort into an endeavor, they expect a big payoff and massive amounts of attention and acclaim. Even if they aren't successful in something, they expect to still be recognized for the effort they have put into the activity. Many times I had students completely fair an assignment, only to tell me, "But I worked so HARD on this!!!" What these kids (and their parents) don't seem to understand is, NOBODY in the real world gives an "A" for effort. It really doesn't matter how hard you tried at something, if you didn't get it right. That sounds callous and coldhearted, especially from a teacher, but it's true. If you were living in Africa, and you tried really hard to avoid being eaten by a lion, but the lion ate you anyway, does it really matter how hard you tried? No. Now, not everyone is going to be successful at every thing, every time. Look at Thomas Edison. He failed hundreds, probably thousands of times at inventing useful creations. But he was very successful at some of his inventions. There needs to be a balance. It isn't about just putting in the effort; it's about putting in the effort to get it right.

Now, kids are not necessarily going to slide smoothly into just one of these categories. In many cases, kids will have attributes from several of the categories. A kid may be super-sheltered and fear change, but be a tyrant at the things he or she already participates in. A "Toastie" may become so burnt out that he or she just becomes a "Turtle" as a self-preservation instinct.

The big question is, how do you deal with these kids, either as your own or in a classroom? In a classroom, you are definitely limited in how you interact with these kids and what you can do to improve their outlook. When they are your own kids, you definitely need to take a look at your parenting tactics and see how you have caused these attributes and what you can do to fix them before it's too late. Every parent, and teacher, wants to see kids succeed. While there's little that can be done to fix "nature", "nurture" can go a long way to seeing the next generation become powerful, successful, and a lot less annoying.

I am surprised to find myself disappointed in HBO for messing up a series of books I am not incredibly impressed with anyway. Hmm.

I am talking about the HBO series True Blood, based on the Sookie Stackhouse novels by Charlaine Harris. I started reading the books on the recommendation of a close friend, and also on curiosity about a series containing one of my favorite subjects: vampires.

That's not to say that I am vampire-obsessed or anything like that. I'm certainly not, in Harris' terms, a fangbanger. But I've always liked vampires. I love Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles, and one of my favorite movies is The Lost Boys. Vampires have been quite romanticized in popular culture over the years, for whatever reason. Tough and dangerous, yet vulnerable; I think the appeal is that a vampire seems to be the ultimate in bad boy/girl. Girls love the bad boys, right? Especially the ones who have a sensitive side. And guys love the girls who are a little bit naughty. So we have a deluge of vampires in entertainment today.

I have yet to find any vampire stories I like as much as Anne Rice's books. Charlie Huston has been the most entertaining author I've read so far, with his Joe Pitt series, kind of a cross between vampires and crime noir. I also have enjoyed the House of Night books by PC and Kristin Cast. While the stories are definitely aimed at teenagers, specifically teenage girls, there is a depth to the stories and an inclusion of various mythologies and legends that adds a lot more interest to the series. I did read the Twilight books by Stephanie Meyer, although I really wasn't impressed. The stories are VERY "13-year-old-girl-ish", meaning all the cliches about romance, relationships, teenage perceptions, and vampires are all present in abundance. I mean, who else would appreciate that vampires, classically believed to be dangerous blood-sucking fiends, are also *sparkly*? Yikes.

Anyway, I started reading the Sookie Stackhouse books because one of my best friends swears by them as her one naughty little indulgence. The stories are pretty interesting, for the most part. The main character, Sookie, is a telepathic human. She is looked at as a weirdo by the other humans she's around. Being different, she ends up finding herself much more at home around "supes", that is, supernatural beings, such as vampires, Werewolves, shapeshifters, witches, fairies, and demons. There are always some interesting mysteries in each story, involving Sookie, her brother, her friends, and her relationships with the supes. While the subject matter is pretty good, the writing style is pretty vanilla. The big draw, at least for my friend (a single mother), is the sex. Harris throws in some naughty little scenes to appeal to her target audience, probably middle-aged women who need a little naughtiness in their lives. Anyway, there is enough sex in the books to have caught the attention of HBO executives, who are known for providing naughtiness for millions of cable subscribers.

So HBO took the Sookie Stackhouse novels and adapted them into a series called True Blood, named after a brand of synthetic blood the vampires drink in the novels. Anna Paquin (for me eternally Rogue in the X-Men movies) plays Sookie. And I have to say, bless her heart, she just isn't a very good actress. Her Southern accent doesn't impress me, and she spends a lot of time staring round-eyed at the other characters and looking confused. The other actors and actresses who play the other characters aren't much better. And none of them look quite as I had pictured in my head (I hate that). Plus, they made some changes to the original storylines, which I'm sure seemed like a good idea to the HBO people, and probably made filming a little easier, but it bothers me when the events I expect get changed. And most annoying of all, they felt it necessary, as with every HBO series, to ramp up the sex. I really don't need or appreciate graphic sex scenes, but HBO put them in every episode. Meh.

I'll probably finish out the series, or at least the season, mostly because I hate starting a series and not finishing it. But I'm pretty disappointed. At least I have real TV shows like 24 and Heroes to keep my entertained.

I think I'm a little envious of my sister-in-law's neighborhood.

Not that I would be willing to move to where she lives, mind you. I'm not willing to trade the climate and the crime rate for a place where all the neighbors know each other.

But I am a little jealous. We've been living in our house now for almost three whole months, and I have yet to meet any of our neighbors. Oh, I've seen them, sure. And I've even said hello a few times. But there hasn't been any further contact than that. And it's a little disappointing.

My sister-in-law's neighborhood is interesting. It's a development of two streets and a couple of cul-de-sacs that, while connected to the next development over, seem entirely self-contained. The only traffic in the neighborhood consists of the people who live there, so any interlopers are noted and watched with interest. I know a few things have disappeared from garages that were left open, but for a neighborhood in the suburbs of one of the highest crime rate cities in the US, they really have few problems. Also, it's the kind of neighborhood where the kids can go play in the street without a real danger that they will get hit. Traffic does not pass through the neighborhood, and the locals drive carefully.

Everyone in the neighborhood hangs out together. The guys all go golfing together, the wives all work out together. The kids all play together. During the summer, everyone sits out on their driveways. Some of the neighbors pull out portable firepits and light them up, and then everyone just wanders through the neighborhood from driveway to driveway. In some driveways, you'll find a cooler of beer. In another, you'll find bottles of wine. Some of the houses have pools, and the kids will go from pool to pool and work their way through the neighborhood. In the winter, there's still a party every week, at one house or another. The kids can trick or treat safely and stay in their neighborhood. Everyone has Christmas parties and New Year's parties. It's just kind of a fun place to live.

I have high hopes that when the weather here warms up, I'll see people sitting out in front of their houses in the evenings. I've noticed a few chairs on porches here, so there's good possibility. But I'm just a little disappointed that I haven't met any neighbors yet. Of course, I haven't done much to meet the neighbors, so I guess I am as much to blame as anyone else. Maybe I'll shovel everyone's sidewalk when we have the next snow...

Why do people believe that being honest and being tactful don't go together? How many times do you hear someone say "I don't mean to be rude, but..." or "I'm not trying to insult you, but..." right before saying something rude, insulting, and just generally offensive, regardless of how true it might be? How does prefacing your insult with an apology lighten or negate the offense?

This came to mind because I was watching a TV show and one of the characters told another that she "wasn't skinny enough to be a Playboy model". When she took offense, he told her that he was just being honest and not trying to insult her or anything. Whether or not the statement was true, the guy in question could have been much more tactful about how he approached the subject. First of all, he could have said nothing at all. That's the most tactful way to handle such a situation--just abstain from responding, or even change the subject. Or, if he just had to respond, he could have said, "You aren't skinny enough...you know, those Playboy models are so scrawny they look dead." You know, present the "truth" in a much more positive light. Instead of being told that she wasn't appealing enough to be in Playboy, the comment would make the Playboy models the unappealing ones.

It just struck me as odd that so many people think that "telling the truth" in a blunt way is the best way to converse with other people. They seem to think that if they ease up on the truth or take a kinder approach, it lessens the truthfulness. I don't understand how being aware of someone's feelings and trying to not hurt them would make the truth somehow less effective. Instead, all it seems to do is make other people less likely to ever ask you for your opinion or for "the truth".

Sorry for the lack of posts, but I've been spending a lot of time getting used to my new city and my new house (and sitting around doing as little as possible).

Anyway, one of the things I've had to get used to is living in winter weather again after eleven years. We've had several significant snowfalls, and I have already learned several things about my new environment: it's much windier here than I had expected, and my neighbors do not shovel their sidewalks. Both of these elements impact my morning doggie walks. When the snow is powdery, it isn't that much trouble for me to walk through it, but for my poor dog, only 16 inches high at the shoulder, 8 inches of snow is a pretty major obstacle. But then, when the wind blows, the snow blows into deeper drifts AND ices over. This creates a new problem. I struggle to trudge through the drifts, and the dog tries to walk over them. That only works if the crust is thick; otherwise, the dog plunges through and has to bound out of the drift. Also, neither of us enjoys having the wind blowing in our faces during our outings. It would be a lot nicer if the neighbors would just shovel the sidewalks. Oh well.

Most of the time, it's just a gentle breeze, but we've had a number of days with +25 mph winds. Guess I need to plant some fast-growing trees in my front yard to create a wind break. And fence the back yard so I don't have to go on so many walks.

We close on Oct. 27, so just over a week away. Just trying to get the finances in order to have our money together for the closing. This is so exciting!

On the weight loss front, not much to report. Although I've been jogging in the mornings, I haven't been able to get a grip on the eating. But we've decided to really try to eat better. Hopefully this week will show some improvements.

Also, we've purchased another tool to help: the Wii Fit. It's got a balance board that you stand on, and then you follow the directions of the games. There are games for balance, games for aerobics, yoga, you name it. And then there are personal trainer games that you can purchase as well, including games from the Biggest Loser trainers. You create a profile that is stored on the hard drive of the Wii console, and it records your weight (since the balance board can function as a scale), the amount of time you spend playing the games, and its estimate of how many calories you've burned. You can even set up goals for weight loss and you can create your own personalized training program. I spent almost an hour on it this morning, and I didn't even work my way through all the games. It was a little disheartening to have a video game tell me I was obese and "unbalanced" (my core strength, not my state of mind, thank you very much), but at least it is a fun way to get in another workout. If I can run in the mornings, maybe get on my bike when the weather is nice, and spend an hour or so each day playing the Wii Fit, maybe I can finally lose some weight.

We're also looking at other ways to get our exercising back on track. In our new house, we've got a big basement living room. We are thinking about setting it up as a workout room for now. We would like to put another TV down there for the video games and exercise videos, plus an elliptical machine, some dumbbell weights and a bench, and stationary bikes. For the bikes, we want to get the stands that turn your regular bike into a stationary bike by lifting it up off the ground. Both of us have older mountain bikes that we'd like to replace, so we could use the older bikes with new slick tires on the stationary stands and ride new mountain bikes around when the weather is nice.

Of course, much of that is in the future; we don't have the finances to just whip out there and go buy all this stuff. But hopefully it will make our working out more interesting. Also, there's a foundation here in Billings that is trying to get a pool built in the area where we live. That will make the summers nice.

So we're trying. Hopefully this time we'll make some actual progress.

Time to update. My husband and I put an offer in on a house yesterday. It's a 3 br, 2 ba, 2700 sq ft ranch-style with a basement. Part of the basement is unfinished, giving the house the potential to become a 5 br, 3 ba. It has a pretty small, unfenced yard, which is a bit of a downer, but we can fence it and at least have a place to throw the dog at 5 in the morning when he's fussing and I'm not yet ready for a walk. The original asking price was 237,400. I'm not sure how long it's been on the market (it's only 2 years old but it has been lived in), but the owners had come down to 224,000. We offered 218,000 (and to pay our own closing costs). The owners are supposed to respond by 7 p.m. today, either accepting, rejecting, or countering. We're hoping if they do counter it won't be by a huge amount. Anyway, we're very excited about the possibility of actually owning our own home, as opposed to renting. Now it's just a waiting game.

On the job front, I have gotten a couple calls to sub with one of the school districts in the area. Unfortunately, both of them came on days I had prior appointments set up with the realtor, so I haven't actually subbed yet. I am still waiting for one more letter of recommendation to come in so I can finish off all my teaching applications and get set up to sub at the other school districts.

On the weight loss front, things are at basically the same place they've been for a long time now. I did unpack the scale, and I'm sitting at about 200, as I thought I was. I'm a little disappointed, because I've been trying to jog with the dog every morning, and I'd hoped that might make some improvement. But since I'm home during the day, I'm close to food (so I'm probably nibbling more all day long than I should), and since I'm not teaching, I'm not moving around as much the rest of the day as I normally would. So the jogging probably isn't doing as much good as I'd like. We've opted to not join a gym right now, and we don't own any exercise equipment, so we're kind of struggling to figure out how to work out. We do have our mountain bikes, so hopefully we'll get into a routine of biking around the neighborhood. And once the snow flies, we've got season tickets at a ski resort about an hour away. Maybe when we have our own house, we can get a treadmill and some free weights so we can work out at home.

Well, that's all I've got right now. We're just waiting...

So, it's been a really long time since my last post. Since then, things were thrown into a bit of chaos, and my world has completely changed.

My husband got a new job, back out West. For YEARS we've wanted to move away from the South, and here was our chance! So we packed everything up and drove across eight states. We stayed for a few weeks at a friend's house, then found an apartment to live in for a few months, until we try to buy a house. I'm currently jobless, as we moved too close to the beginning of the new school year for me to find a full-time position. I have applied as a sub in the local schools, so hopefully I'll have something to do. But it's all kind of a holding pattern right now.

What this means is, it's a whole new ballgame. We're now in a part of the country where it should be easier to be involved in outdoor activities, so we're going to rededicate ourselves to getting healthy and losing weight.

Not sure what my "starting" weight is, as our scale remains packed. But I can assume it's around 200, as it so often is. *sigh*. Same sh*t, different state...

As nation gains, 'overweight' is relative
By Elizabeth Landau
CNN

(CNN) -- The little number on the tag on a pair of pants that indicates size can mean a lot to a person, and retailers know it.

The probability of people describing themselves as overweight is decreasing, researchers find.

That's why, in recent years, as the American population has become generally more overweight, brands from the luxury names to the mass retail chains have scaled down the size labels on their clothing.

"You may actually be a size 14 and, according to whatever particular store you're in, you come out a size 10," said Natalie Nixon, associate professor of fashion industry management at Philadelphia University. "It's definitely to make the consumer feel good."

Research shows that, when it comes to self-perception, the concept of "overweight" may be relative.

A working paper from a group led by Mary Burke, senior economist at the Federal Reserve Bank of Boston, Massachusetts, suggested that people's perceptions of overweight have shifted, and "normal" is now heavier than it used to be.

Researchers used data from the National Health and Nutrition Examination Surveys, nationally representative surveys run by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The first group was surveyed in 1988-1994, and the second was surveyed in 1999-2004. Because there were different people in each survey, it is not possible to tell if the perceptions of individuals shifted over time, the authors said.

Participants were asked whether they consider themselves "underweight," "about right," or "overweight," and reported their body mass index, a measure of the health risks associated with weight.

Are people more complacent, or better educated?

Although the BMI of the general population increased from the earlier survey period to the later one, the probability of people describing themselves as overweight decreased in the later survey, researchers found.

They found that weight misperception tended to decrease among women -- meaning women with normal BMI who were surveyed in 1999-2004 were less likely to say that they're "overweight" than women with normal BMI in 1988-1994, especially among 17 to 19-year-olds. For men, it was about the same.

"For women, this was good news," Burke said. "Women seem to get a more realistic perception of themselves."

Although the study authors said this trend may reflect healthy body image campaigns, physician nutrition specialist Dr. Melina Jampolis, who was not involved in this research, said she doubts that positive messages had this much influence.

Rather, it is the relative increase in weight of the general population that makes people with normal BMI feel more normal, she said.

On the flip side, feeling normal but being overweight may decrease a person's motivation to lose weight, Burke said.

Still, while the BMI scale reflects disease risks associated with being overweight, it does not reflect the whole story of a person's health, experts said.

There have been reports that being somewhat overweight, but not obese, is associated with decreased mortality, such as a 2005 study in the Journal of the American Medical Association that looked at deaths from a variety of causes.

Innovations such as treatments for high cholesterol have lowered the death risks for overweight people, Burke said. Especially for older adults, being slightly overweight may increase bone density, cushioning bones against falls, she said.

But the JAMA paper shows associations, not causes. People should not take this information as an excuse to gain weight, Jampolis said.

There are, however, other reasons that BMI isn't the whole story -- for instance, it does not reflect the distribution of a person's weight, Jampolis said.

"You could have really skinny arms and legs and just carry your weight in the middle, and it could be only 10 pounds, but belly fat, the visceral adiposity, it could very significantly increase your risk of disease," she said.

Experts noted that plumpness has been in style during some historical periods, especially as an indicator of prosperity when food was scarce. But the ideal of controlling one's food isn't new either. The book "Fat History: Bodies and Beauty in the Modern West" by historian Peter Stearns points out that fasting was a religious virtue seen throughout the Middle Ages, and continuing into the Puritan version of Protestantism. Christianity also espoused the idea of restricting food to fight sin.

The artistic and literary movement known as Romanticism, beginning in the late 18th century, stressed "slender, ethereal" ideals, Stearns wrote. The 1830s brought a prominent New York fashion style of a "willowy" look for young women, and there were many reports of anorexia nervosa during this time, the book said. But for older women, plumpness remained fashionable, and women on stage were expected to be voluptuous.

The meaning of the word "diet" came to include the goal of weight loss as early as 1910, Stearns wrote. "Middle-class America began its ongoing battle against body fat" between 1890 and 1910, Stearns wrote. The main factors that contributed to this shift were the advent of fat-control devices, the rise of public conversation about fat, and changes in fashion for both men and women, he wrote.

The culture of beauty that shaped up around the turn of the last century, promoting slimness as beautiful and fatness as ugly, has intensified since then, Stearns wrote.

Despite the widespread notion of dieting, obesity has risen dramatically over the last 20 years in America, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. A recent survey by the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation and the Trust for America's Health found that the percentage of adults classified as obese went up in 23 states in the last year.

As clothing size numbers scale down in an era when bodies are getting more overweight, portion sizes have been increasing, Jampolis said. Photographs of fast food hamburgers from 50 years ago reveal that the serving size back then would seem like a "joke portion," now, she said.

"The same thing has happened with our body sizes. We're perceiving them as totally normal," she said.

As far as vanity sizing, Nixon called it a "temporary fix" that reflects a larger problem of people looking for quick solutions for losing weight, she said.

"It doesn't really deal with the root of the problem," she said. "It's really a lifestyle issue. It's not about a temporary diet, it's not about being pleasantly surprised because you're a size 12 instead of a size 16," she said.

Why Are Southerners So Fat?
By CLAIRE SUDDATH Thursday, Jul. 09, 2009

People from Mississippi are fat. With an adult obesity rate of 33%, Mississippi has gobbled its way to the "chubbiest state" crown for the fifth year in a row, according to a new joint report by Trust for America's Health and the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation. Alabama, West Virginia and Tennessee aren't far behind, with obesity rates over 30%. In fact, eight of the 10 fattest states are in the South. The region famous for its biscuits, barbecue and pecan pies has been struggling with its weight for years — but then again, so has the rest of the country. Wisconsin loves cheese, New Yorkers scarf pizza, and New Englanders have been known to enjoy a crab cake or two. So why is the South so portly?

For one thing, it's poor. Mississippi is not only the fattest state in the nation, but also the poorest, with 21% of its residents living below the poverty line, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. Alabama and West Virginia, the second and third fattest states, are tied for fifth poorest. With a poverty rate of 14%, the South is easily the most impoverished region in the country. "When you're poor, you tend to eat more calorie-dense foods because they're cheaper than fruits and vegetables," explains Jeff Levi, executive director of Trust for America. Poor neighborhoods also have fewer grocery stores, even in the rural South. A 2004 study by the University of South Carolina found that most food-shopping options in rural areas fall into the convenience-store category because grocery stores are located too far away. But although poverty puts people at risk for obesity, it doesn't determine their fate. A number of impoverished states — including Montana, Texas and New Mexico — have relatively low levels of obesity. There must be something else.

Maybe it's the culture. Southerners definitely enjoy their fried chicken (not to mention fried steak, fried onions, fried green tomatoes, fried pickles and fried corn bread). Even when their food isn't fried, they like to smother it in gravy. But while nutritionists frequently blame Southerners' large guts on their regional food choices, the accusation is a little unfair. Just as Californians don't actually live on wheat grass and tofu, Southerners don't really sit around eating fried chicken every day. "I've not come across anything that says the diet in the Southeast is worse than the rest of the country," says David Bassett, co-director of the University of Tennessee's Obesity Research Center. "We're definitely in what I like to call the 'Stroke Belt,' " he says, referring to Southeastern states' high percentage of heart disease and hypertension, "but I think that has more to do with Southerners' lack of physical activity rather than the food."

Bassett isn't just talking about neglected gym memberships and people who sit on the couch all day. Physical activity can be something as simple as walking to the bus stop. That's another problem, by the way: the South doesn't have many bus stops. Public transportation is paltry, and for most people, the best way to get around is by car. "You don't really think of riding the train as exercise, but at least you have to walk a few blocks to get to the stop," says Bassett. States like Mississippi and Tennessee also have a surprising lack of sidewalks, discouraging even the most eager pedestrians. Many roads are narrower than those in the North — where streets have wider shoulders to accommodate winter snow — and people who want to bike or jog find themselves uncomfortably close to traffic.

But who wants to exercise when it's 100 degrees outside? The South is really hot and humid. Nobody in Mississippi goes running in the summer — at least, nobody sane. Bassett points out that Colorado, the state with the lowest obesity rate (18.9%), is relatively affluent and has a temperate climate and plenty of trails that lend themselves to outdoor activities.

So there you have it. Southerners have little access to healthy food and limited means with which to purchase it. It's hard for them to exercise outdoors, and even when they do have the opportunity, it's so hot, they don't want to. To combat this affliction, some Southern states have adopted programs to fight rising obesity. In 2003, Arkansas passed a school body mass index–screening program that assesses weight and sends the results home to parents. Tennessee encourages its schools to buy fresh ingredients from local growers. And in 2007, Mississippi adopted nutritional standards for school lunches. Most of these programs are relatively new, so it will be a few years before experts can determine their efficacy. "I think there's reason for optimism," says Barrett. "But it's likely that the Southeast will lag behind the rest of the country for some time to come."

I've discussed my affinity for reality TV before. This, however, is why I DON'T like reality TV: I hate what it does to people.

I have been a fan of Jon and Kate Plus 8 for a while now. I started watching it either last summer or the summer before. I thought it was amazing how crazy a household could be with that many kids, all at an age where they are completely dependent on their parents. Yes, Kate was kind of bossy and OCD and Jon gave in to what Kate wanted pretty much all the time, but I figured that was probably the only way they could keep the household from degenerating into complete pandemonium.

As the seasons have passed and the kids have gotten older, the show has changed. Companies started donating things to the family, and there was no longer a struggle to pay for things and keep food on the table. As the money rolled in from successful ratings, the family started taking ridiculously expensive vacations that families that size, and most families regardless of size, could never be able to take. They upgraded the house, the cars, the toys. The show started to showcase many of the brand names that were making all of this possible for Jon and Kate, turning the show into a long commercial rather than showing off the kids and the family's challenges. Through it all, Kate still seemed snarky and Jon still seemed to be a milquetoast, but it no longer seemed to be because of the challenges the family faced, but rather because that was just their personalities.

Then, trouble reared its head. News broke of possible infidelity from Jon. It looked like he may have been dating around on Kate while Kate was out of town. While few people could blame Jon for wanting to get out and get away from his high-pressure family and his bitchy wife, no one could condone his possible cheating on his wonderful kids. Bad news. Then, allegations that perhaps Kate had also been seeing someone else. The shows highlighted a lot of infighting between the two.

Finally, a commercial for the show aired, stating that Jon and Kate had "an announcement". Naturally, many people tuned in to find out what it was, but few were surprised to hear that the couple was separating and divorce proceedings had been initiated. There will be another show to recap some of the highlights of the couple's ten-year marriage, and then the show will go on hiatus for a few months to give the family time to gather itself. The children will apparently remain living in the house, and the parents will come and go based on who has custody at the time. While this is supposed to minimize the strain on the children, it is bound to be awkward and somewhat painful for everyone.

And it remains to be seen: who really wants to keep watching? The joy and amazement over watching the antics of the large family is waning, especially since the younger kids have turned five and are much more self-sufficient than they have been before. With all the donations and all the expensive items the family is able to procure, it's no longer about the day-to-day struggle to make ends meet and not "lose their minds". Instead, viewers will have to see one parent at a time, dealing with the kids. They'll have to witness painful scenes where kids and parent must say goodbye for periods of time. With the divorce rate in the country at about 50%, these are scenes that may be all too familiar to some viewers, and certainly not anything most people want to relive.

It makes me wonder, as my own marriage nears ten years, how things might be different if we already had kids, heaven forbid eight of them. While I certainly don't think our marriage would be in the condition that Jon and Kate's is now, Kate herself said she never thought things would have come to this point.

Sad.

Sometimes, a joke is so bad, even the creator knows it.

You know, nothing else really needs to be said.

You've got to love it. Georgia police officer, across the state line into Tennessee (that's the state line painted in blue in the foreground of the photo), sitting at a drive-thru liquor store window. We scrambled to take a photo before he drove away at a pretty high speed. Wonder if he's going to come after me?

Nuthin' to report. Last day of work tomorrow before summer break, so starting on Thursday I will be following my new workout and diet routine. That means I only have a day to figure out what that new routine is...

Just a quick note; nothing really significant to add, but I wanted to get this on the internet so it's recorded for posterity.

I weighed in at 193.4 this morning.

This pretty much proves the theory I've been developing: for me, it's almost all about the food. I didn't work out yesterday, but I did eat much less than I often do on weekends: bowl of cereal, small sandwich for lunch, grapes as a snack, small bowl of pasta for dinner. No in-between snacking (other than the grapes), no desserts, relatively small portions. Despite not working out yesterday, I end up recording my lightest weigh-in of the year.

This is good to know, as I am approaching the "dangerous" time of the year: summer time, when I am home from school and have no real day-to-day schedule. When sitting around at home, I often find myself snacking because I have nothing else to do (or nothing else that I WANT to do), and that is where I get into trouble. While I might consume a regulation number of calories during my actual mealtimes, I probably double those calories each day by snacking.

Obviously I'm not going to reach any of the weight loss goals I had at various points of the year by the deadline I had given myself (originally it was to be down to 160 lbs by the end of school, which is in 12 days; then I revised it to 175 lbs by the same date), so I need to rethink my goals and my deadlines.

Now I'm rescheduling my deadline for the end of the summer--our school year is supposed to start up again the 12th of August. That's just over 13 weeks from now. As for the goals, I guess I'll stick with the most realistic I can devise. While I'd really love to drop some major weight over the summer, I find it more likely that I will drop some weight. I'm going to shoot for a pound each week, for a total loss of 13 lbs. That means, if I'm at 193 right now, I'll be at 180 by the end of the summer. While that is still 20 lbs above what I would ultimately like to weigh, it will be a tremendous improvement over what I am now.

So, that's that. Now, since it's Mother's Day, a message to whatever readers might be out there: Appreciate your mom, treat her well, and hug her every opportunity you can. On this, the third Mother's Day without my mom, I can only sit and remember all the times I didn't do those things, and wish for one more chance.

I have a disturbing admission to make...




...I may be addicted to Facebook.

This is funny, because years ago I posted some of my opinions about the popular social networking sites (MySpace, Facebook) and their use by my high school students. Back then, in the spring of 2006, it was mostly about MySpace, since that was the network site of choice. The popularity has since shifted to Facebook. Now, I had gotten accounts with both sites, at the time under a different name than my real name, to facilitate the regulation of the students' use of the sites. After a while, some of my former students figured out my identity, so I went ahead and changed to my real name.

At first, I didn't really use either site. I still don't use MySpace much--there's a grand total of one person I keep in touch with using MySpace. But my Facebook usage has EXPLODED. Once a few of my former students identified me, they all requested to be my "friends" on the site. For quite a while, former students comprised my entire "friend" base. Then a few close high school and college friends joined the site. My husband caved in and joined, as did my brother (and eventually my dad!). People I went to college with, and then high school with, and then elementary school with, finally found me.

I now have over 400 "friends" on Facebook. I wouldn't have thought I had that many friends, really. And technically some of them are more acquaintances than friends. But I didn't really think I even KNEW that many people.

Gradually what happened was this: my "friends" would send me little "gifts" using various applications on Facebook. And that's where I started to get into trouble. There are lots of applications that are essentially games where it greatly benefits you to have MORE friends join in. So you send more invitations to OTHER friends to get them involved as well. Some of the applications involve strategy, some involve repetition, and some involve verbal skills or creativity. But all of them take time, and all of them require you to come back time after time to play again and again to improve your standing.

When I would send invitations to people, I would feel guilty about spamming them with unwanted overtures. So then if someone would repay me with an invitation to ANOTHER application, and I would feel guilty enough that I would add that application as well. That just meant one more game or application to visit with each Facebook session.

It's gotten to the point where it takes me at least 15-20 minutes to go through "maintenance mode" on all the games and applications I use, before I can actually get around to communicating with people through chat and messages.

I started to become concerned that I was spending too much time on Facebook. CNN.com did a story on Facebook addiction, and they included some warning signs of obsession: losing sleep over Facebook because you are staying up too late or getting up early to check the site; spending more than a hour a day on Facebook; obsessing about connecting with people, especially old boyfriends or girlfriends; sneaking away from work to check Facebook; and being stressed about the idea of giving up Facebook.

I am happy to say I do not exhibit all of those warning signs. But I must admit, I do check Facebook nightly and each morning, and I do spend more than an hour each day on the site. So I may not actually be addicted, but I am certainly forming a habit.

Well, I've postponed checking Facebook since I got home over a hour ago. Guess I better get on it and get my maintenance done so I can go to bed at a reasonable hour.

I love this show. If you've never seen it, Mythbusters is all about testing urban legends using science and high explosives. And when I say high explosives, I mean it.


Mythbusters Blow Up A Cement Truck - For more funny movies, click here

That is entertainment. And science. And a really big frickin' explosion. Could it ever get better than that?

Today is the second anniversary of the death of my mother, from cancer. I'm very thankful that I was there. My mother was going in for surgery to remove more cancer (she'd had another surgery three years before), and she and my dad had downplayed the situation and told me I didn't have to come home for the surgery. Well, I didn't listen to them, and immediately got plane tickets to go home for the weekend. I can't imagine if I hadn't gone home. As horrible as it was to sit in the hospital and hear the doctor tell us my mother was gone, it would have been so much worse to have been at work all day, away from a phone (since I'm a teacher), and have gotten the news that afternoon when school got out. My dad probably would have called my husband, and my husband probably would have come to the school to tell me the news. I just can't imagine how that would have felt, knowing I hadn't seen her one last time. Thank God I went home, and got to hug her, and kiss her, and say good-bye to her as they wheeled her off to surgery.

So please, hug your loved ones and tell them you love them. You never know when it will be your last chance to do so.

Oh boy, if that isn't the truth.

Played nine holes of golf last evening after work, since the days have gotten longer but not long enough to get in a whole eighteen (at least, not for a crappy golfer like me). I probably need to pick up some lessons again here and there--I've gotten inconsistent with my swing. I'll top it, try to compensate on the next hole by really trying to stay down, and slam my club into the ground a good six inches in front of my ball. Sucks.

Wait, I know what I need: new clubs!!! I'm sure a couple of fairway woods and a hybrid or two will solve all my problems, right?

Easter is a time of reflection, of renewal. It's a time for things to start over.

So I'm reflecting on the fact that I haven't lost any weight. I realized, with a great deal of demoralization, that this past Friday was day 100 of my 2009 attempt at weight loss. And yet I haven't lost any weight. At all. My weight has fluctuated in a range of approximately 6 lbs, but it won't stay in one place, and it won't stay down.

I guess it's time for the renewal part. I need to rededicate myself to the weight loss goal. I've got about seven weeks until I'm done with work and free for the summer. During the summer I should be able to work out more and all that stuff, but I need to get a head start. If I can buckle down, I might be able to get rid of about 10 lbs by then. That would be great.

So, here's the "start over" part. I looked back at my previous weight loss attempt, back in 2005-2006. From November 2005 to the middle of the summer in 2006 (maybe 9 months?) I lost about 45 lbs. I did it by working out every day. On weekdays, I worked out twice each day, for about an hour each workout, regardless of what time of day it meant I would get home. I also worked out on weekends. On Saturdays and Sundays my husband and I would go to the gym and play racquetball for about an hour. Sometimes we'd hit the elliptical machines before we'd play.

I need to start over. I need to go back to that habit. I need to work out before and after work, every day, regardless of what time I end up getting home. It sucks. I hate it. But I don't think I can lose weight any other way.

I don't know why I find this funny, but I do. I think it's hilarious.

I have been successful so far in my shunning of one of my formerly favorite beverage genres: those of the carbonated variety. It's been, well, since whenever I said I would stop drinking diet coke. Anyway, it hasn't stopped my occasional need for caffeine.

I am not traditionally one of those teachers who craves loads of caffeine. One of my close friends, an elementary school teacher, hits her local Starbucks so frequently that she no longer waits in line and places her order. The barristas see her pull into the parking lot and make her regular order. It's waiting for her when she walks up to the counter, she pays, and she leaves. Wow. The woman is so caffeinated that you can feel the air around her vibrating.

I don't hit Starbucks much myself, although I will when I have a gift card (a common grade-grubbing gift from students), since it's not really my money then. I'm constantly amazed that a tree-hugging, free-loving, hippie environment such as Seattle could produce such a corporate juggernaut as Starbucks. I don't feel that I am either a tree-hugging hippie or a suburban assault vehicle-driving soccer mom with a coffee addiction, but Starbucks does taste pretty good.

However, Starbucks is expensive, and I don't currently have a gift card burning a hole in my wallet, so I decided to try the new, inexpensive coffee sensation: the McCafe Mocha.





Looks pretty good. And I'm sure everyone has seen the commercial, making fun of the types of people who are, in McDonald's less-than-high class opinion, likely to drink coffee from and spend time at Starbucks.





So, this morning, as I was rushing to work, I felt I was a little tired, and I figured I'd give the ol' golden arches a chance to win me over with its caffeinated glories. I was handed my cup of McMocha. I flipped up the little lid. I tilted the cup. And I took my first sip.

Yeecchh.

It was bitter, and burnt-tasting, and HORRIBLE. I don't think I've ever consumed anything worse. I waited a few moments, and tried another sip, thinking maybe I was being unfair.

Nope.

I tried maybe six or seven sips, each time shuddering with the awfulness of it all.

Now, it's possible that the failure might not have been the coffee at all, but rather the particular McDonald's that provided it. The McDonald's in our small southern town is slow at best and lame at worst. You know it's bad when you only order two items and they can't manage to put all of them in the bag on the first try. So it is quite likely that this batch of coffee HAD been sitting on the heating element since some time last month. I may take an opportunity to try again at a different McDonald's elsewhere in the region.

But for now, I guess I'll spend more money than I really need to to buy an overpriced caffeinated drink after waiting in line behind a bunch of soccer moms and hippies.

Considering the fact that Chinese food is my food-heroin (along with Mexican), this picture made perfect sense.

Sometimes, something good happens when you really, really need it. On a day when I've been fighting a screaming headache and have not felt any motivation to do anything, I got a little piece of happy dropped into my lap.

I teach at a private school, and alumni are always encouraged to come and visit and see all the fabulous things that are happening at the school (and then, of course, they are asked to cough up a donation or two to pay for such wonderful things). As a consequence, former students are forever dropping by and roaming the hallways. It's always fun to see former students and spend a few moments catching up with them, although I've discovered the ones who come back and visit the most are often the ones we were so glad to be rid of in the first place--the ones I really want to see are usually the ones who are leading such fantastically successful and fun lives that they don't have time to come back and check out the new library.

So I was absolutely overjoyed to see the face that appeared at my door today, conveniently NOT during one of my classes. This former student was a member of the first class I ever taught at this school, automatically earning her a place in my heart. But she was one of the really great kids; I would never play favorites with students currently in my classes, but with a graduate I can safely say she's one of the favorites I've ever taught. I'm sure this girl has said something unpleasant to someone in the course of her life, but I'd be hardpressed to tell you where or when or to whom, because it sure wasn't here. Sweet, hard-working, funny, clever, gorgeous...I'm blessed to have taught a whole group of girls like this. If I have kids, I want one like this.

Kids like this bring out the best in everyone. Teachers try harder when they have students who work hard and do their best; it's sad but true. And other students respond to people like this. A classic example of this came at the end of this student's freshman year. The weekend before exams, this student's house caught fire and burned to the ground. It was an errant lightning strike, and thankfully the family was not home, but they lost many of their possessions, including some of their pets (which breaks your heart anyway). The lightning actually struck this girl's room, so the devastation of her belongings was total. Clothing, school books, everything gone. So this sweet little thing shows up to school on the day before exams in street clothes (private school=uniforms) with no books and informs everyone she plans to take her exams anyway. Who wouldn't bend over backwards for this kid? Her classmates xeroxed their notes and lent her their textbooks so she could study. She took all her tests and did very well on them, just as she would have if her house had not burned down. On the last day of exams, all the freshmen were called into the hallway. The girls all sat along the lockers, and this girl was called forward by the class president and some of her friends. The students explained that they wanted her to have a good summer and not worry about all her belongings and clothes, and then they presented her with gifts. Clothes. Books. CDs. Shoes. Makeup. Everything a teenage girl could ask for. And then they handed her the gift cards. Visa gift cards loaded with money so she could go shopping anywhere she wanted for anything she needed. That's how much her classmates loved and respected her. They wanted to take care of her.

It was the first time I cried, as a teacher. This is what learning's all about. Grammar and math and languages are great, but this girl taught her classmates, and they taught her back, that caring about someone and taking care of someone is the most important thing you'll ever do.

The face of this girl at my door today brought it all back to me. She thanked me for preparing her so well for college (she said she aced her composition class). And she was genuinely happy to see me and to reminisce.

These girls, they're why I teach. They are my happy thoughts, my marbles (remember Hook with Robin Williams, where the one Lost Boy had lost his marbles, which were his happy thoughts?). Without them, I'm not a teacher at all.

This morning--194.8.

Huh. Maybe there is something to this whole working out thing after all. I am sore as hell, though. I lifted weights yesterday and today in the hopes of toning up the junk in my trunk. Working out is supposed to make you feel better and have more energy, but I'm really tired and really sore. I hope the "feeling better" thing shows up sooner rather than later.

Anyway, I get regular updates from a weight-loss site (is there irony? perhaps). One of the recent ones had to do with weight-loss sabotage. While the article spent quite a bit of time talking about other people sabotaging your weight loss goals for a variety of reasons, there was a segment about sabotaging your own goals. I found that section very interesting because I am so often guilty of it.

1. Setting unrealistic expectations or having impossible goals. While I would love to think that the jeans that fit me when I was a senior in college might someday fit again, I have to accept the fact that my body has actually changed dimensions, regardless of the fat or lack thereof. I have a pair of size 3 board shorts that I used to love, tucked away in my closet as a reminder of my former glory (so to speak). If I hold those up to my body, I can plainly see that my hip bones, not my fat but my BONES, are now wider than the shorts. I will never wear them again, and there is NOTHING that can be done about it. So trying to get down to the size I was in college is both ridiculous and a tremendous waste of time. So is the goal of losing more than a pound or so each week, every week. I have never sustained such a weight loss week after week at any time in my 34 years of life--there is NO way I could expect to lose that kind of weight on a regular basis now. Yes, I may have a week where I drop 3 pounds, but that should be a surprise for which to be thankful, not an occurrence to be expected.

2. Following an overly restrictive diet. I must face the facts that a) I love to eat and B) I need food. I cannot live on 800 calories a day, or even a 1000. I get cranky and easily distracted, and I cease being a productive or even remotely enjoyable person. What I need to focus on is portion control, since I can easily put down 1500 calories in a sitting if I'm at a restaurant, and avoiding the foods that are most destructive, fat- and calorie-wise.

3. Doing too much exercise too soon. Yeah, I know, that's exactly what I'm guilty of yesterday and today. Instead of starting slowly because I haven't really worked out in three weeks, I spent about an hour each morning lifting weights and doing crunches, and now I can barely move. I need to ease into this a little better than I'm doing. Of course, now that I've put in two days, I need to stretch. A lot. Ow.

4. Overbooking. If I would take a little more time to organize myself, and dedicate a little time here and a little time there to the things I need to do, I would have more time here and there to do the other things I need and want, like working out and reading. I also take on more projects and things than I need to. Everyone needs a little "me" time, and that may mean not offering to make a dish for a staff party, but instead picking up something ready-made at the store.

5. Making excuses. A guy I used to work for said, "Excuses are like armpits. Everyone has a couple and they all stink." I am the master excuser. I can justify missing a workout with things like, "Well, I had to do the dishes, so I skipped the workout", or "I'll just go for a run later instead of going to the gym," or "I'll work out twice as hard tomorrow, but I really want to go home and watch that show right now." I need to stop the excuses and make the workouts the only things (well, and work I suppose) that are graven in stone. I MUST WORK OUT. No excuses. I tend to think of my students at times like this. They work so hard to AVOID doing their work. If they'd only put that kind of effort into actually DOING the work, they'd all have really good grades. I should be like that with exercise. Instead of trying to avoid it, I should put the avoidance energy into the gym.

6. Being a slave to the scale. I do this one daily. Every day I weigh myself (in the morning), and then I kick myself all day long if I've gained. But I know as well as anyone that my weight fluctuates quite a bit on a day-to-day basis. So I really should not worry as much about the daily weigh-ins, and start just recording a weekly weigh-in instead. That way I don't depress myself when things don't go as I want them.

So anyway, I'm on track, for now. I'm gonna go stretch now. Ow.

Weigh-in: 196.4

Today was the first day of...well...whatever it's called when you start over again (for like the 50th time). I dragged my sorry butt out of bed this morning and hit the gym. I will either golf this afternoon (perhaps the driving range, or maybe 9 holes) or I will go back to the gym again. I will repeat this process over and over until I manage to lose some weight, or until the apocalypse, whatever comes first.

The biggest problem I have with the gym in the morning is that it makes me HUNGRY. It must kickstart my metabolism, because then I crave food. All day long. No matter what I eat. So when I work out in the morning it becomes a game of portion control and self-restraint. Otherwise, I'll easily take in enough calories to negate whatever good I did at the gym in the first place.

And I crave steak. Meh.

Well, I drank my last soda today. Probably. I hope.

I've been drinking diet sodas for quite a long time now, thinking I was being so clever avoiding all those extra calories. But now so much is coming to light about how bad DIET sodas are for you, that it seems we should cut them out of our diets altogether.

Sodas are bad for you in many ways. When you drink a soda, you inhale the carbon dioxide from the bubbles. Carbon dioxide is heavier than air, so it sinks in your lungs and actually takes up valuable space in your lungs. This makes it impossible for you to get as full a breath as you would otherwise be capable of. Many coaches prefer their athletes not drink carbonated beverages, to maximize their air intake.

Also, sodas not only prevent calcium being absorbed by your system but also actually leach calcium from your bones, possibly contributing to osteoporosis.

The acid in sodas eats at the enamel of your teeth, contributing to cavities, and the caramel coloring can stain your teeth.

Caffeine is a diuretic and known addictive stimulant.

Those are just a few of the issues to which sodas contribute. But recent studies of diet sodas suggest there is another problem. Diet sodas were created for those who were concerned with the number of calories they were consuming. The substitution of artificial sweeteners for the already non-nutritious high-fructose corn syrup was supposed to help people lose weight. Instead, some studies show that people who consume large amounts of diet sodas may actually gain weight rather than lose it.

One of the possible reasons could be that the taste of the sweet drink "tricks" the system into thinking that something with calories has been consumed, and the system then starts "looking" for those calories. When no calories are found, it may actually trigger the system into wanting to consume more calories to make up for those that are missing. So one might end up actually eating more calories rather than fewer.

No idea if that's true or not, but it's getting to the point where the diet sodas aren't helping me anyway, so I should probably just drop them. I need to just replace them with water, or iced tea if I really need the caffeine.

I don't know if it will help, but it obviously can't hurt.

I wish I could be that brave. I also have no idea how to approach that math problem. Good thing I don't teach math.

Ahh, I love the smell of hypocrisy in the morning...

So.

Back from my kayaking trip, first day back from Spring Break, time for a report.

EPIC FAIL.

On the weight issue, I mentioned my failure last week on the drive to eastern Tennessee. My target weight for last week was 185. My actual weight was almost 200. Despite my protestations, I simply couldn't get my act together. Rarely hit the gym, rarely followed a coherent eating plan, and it certainly showed.

On the "hoping to move" issue, we're still here. At this point, we're glad to at least have jobs, as so many others have lost theirs. It's a bad time to be looking to make a change, so we're still in a bit of a holding pattern. Still looking, but we figure it may take a little while. We don't really want to buy a house here, as it will just tie us down, and while moving into a nicer rental would be great it probably would cost us more each month, thereby cutting into the money we're trying to save. So I guess we'll just stay in our current house and make the best of it.

On the kayaking front, this past weekend was not what I had hoped for. Part of it is my weight--I'm over the maximum weight for my boat, which makes it harder to handle--and part of it is my own mental weirdness, but I've really regressed in my paddling. A few summers ago (aligning with my lightest weight since starting to kayak, interestingly enough) I was feeling good about my abilities and kind of psyching myself up to step up to harder rivers. Since then, I've chickened out on more than a few trips, I've had some swims on some rivers that I had plenty of experience on and hadn't struggled with before, and my eskimo roll seems to have some consistency issues.

So I have a lot to work on. My new goal is to have dealt with and made progress on these issues by the time we get to my summer vacation (last week in May). That's 10 weeks from now. Hopefully I can get this back on track, before I just give up entirely.

Short post from my iPhone. On the way to our kayaking trip. Disappointed to report utter failure on the weight loss/exercise front. Today was my day of reckoning. My January goal was to have lost about 15 lbs by today and be in some semblance of shape. Nope. Today's weigh-in: 198.6. I never did find a handle on either the exercise routine or the eating habits. Well, it is what it is, as my husband says. I'll just have to do what I can this weekend, and start over when we return. I suppose my new goal will be comparable to my previous one, with my summer break as the deadline. *sigh* I'm getting to old for this s#it.

Oh, this is so true...I keep saying it, but I keep just right on eating...