Well, my weigh-in this morning was 198.0, which is up a tiny bit from yesterday, but since my arch-nemesis Mexican Food weighed in with me, I guess I did OK. I haven't done particularly well this week at my attempt at the SlimFast diet, but it hasn't been a total loss (er, gain). When I add in exercise, which I haven't done this week, things should go better.

Well, today is what we call a mixed bag. Despite the fact that I didn't completely adhere to my diet plan (ended up going to Backyard Burger for dinner and had a gouda-burger and fries, which really isn't recommended), I dropped down to 197.6 this morning in my weigh-in. I have no idea how that happened.

But the downside to the day is the fact that I am at work. We had all hoped hard for a snow day, but we didn't get one. Even worse than that, most of the schools in the area DID get the day off. Our administrator was waiting to see what the other schools did, and by the time the city schools and some of the private schools decided to close, it was close enough to the beginning of the school day that our president decided we had too many students on the way and it was too dangerous to turn them around and send them home. So it's a weird day at school. About two thirds of the students showed up, but others stayed home, either because their parents didn't want them to drive in the snow, or because their parents didn't want to bring them to school in the snow, or because they thought we wouldn't have school today, or because they just laid low and hoped for the best. So the classes are limping along with the students who did come to school today. Plus, all the kids who ARE here are bitching and moaning their way through the day. Doesn't make things very pleasant. I would have rather stayed home myself.

Haven't posted in a few days because there has been nothing to report. No weight loss, no working out, no eating better. Pretty depressing. The only thing I have hope for this week is a possible winter weather day off tomorrow. Crossing fingers and toes...

I do have one thing that I'm going to try. Since I have been spectacularly unsuccessful at the working out of late, I want to try a diet change. I'm sure this is something I won't be able to do for an extended period of time, but I want to try a minor experiment with the rest of this week. I know I am not going to get much gym time this week. I've already missed yesterday and this morning, and I won't be able to go this afternoon either. There's a potential snow/ice storm for tonight which might make it unlikely that I get to the gym tomorrow too. So this experiment is just about food.

I've planned out a diet that will run me just under 1200 calories per day. The plan looks like this:

Breakfast: small bowl of Cheerios with 1% milk--approximately 200 calories
glass of juice--approximately 140 calories
Snack: large banana--approximately 120 calories
Lunch: SlimFast shake--220 calories
Snack: Special K protein bar--180 calories
Dinner: SlimFast shake--220 calories

That plus the fiber supplement I take in the mornings (about 30 calories) will get me in around 1110 calories or so for the day. It's possible I might sneak in a handful or nuts or something too, but I'm going to try to just go with what's on the list so far.

If I can stick with this for a few days, I should be able to see a pound or so of weight loss, based on the 3500 calories/pound theory (if you burn 3500 calories more than you take in, you'll lose a pound). If I'm consuming approximately 2000 calories on a normal day (which I'm sure is a conservative estimate), then cutting about 800 each day for four days should get me about 3200, which should be almost a pound.

No idea if this is do-able or not. I don't know if I'll be starving to death by the time I get to the afternoon or not. I may have to tweak with this plan a little, but I'm determined to try it out this week.

But I'm already hungry...

Didn't get around to posting yesterday--busy, busy.

But the good news is, despite a nasty cold that kept me out of the gym and in a NyQuil coma for most of the week, I managed to get back down to 198.0, which means I've erased most of the gain from last week (was down to 197.4 at one point last week).

That means in three full weeks I've lost two pounds. Pretty pathetic. Hopefully the next week will be better--I won't have study hall after school as I have for the past two weeks, so I should be able to get to the gym early enough to beat the evening rush. If I'm going to make any progress, enough to make paddling in March more comfortable, I'll need to really hit it hard this week.

As far as weigh-ins go, I'm back to 200.0. Which means it has taken me pretty much all week to get back to the point I was at almost three weeks ago. Yay.

Saw an interesting video on CNN today. It's a CNN reporter discussing with a CNN analyst on Rush Limbaugh's anti-Obama sentiments. Apparently they were concerned because Rush said he wants Obama "to fail". They found this appalling.

First of all, I don't know why they would be surprised to find this sentiment coming out of Rush's mouth. Limbaugh advertises himself as the voice of the Republican Right. Naturally, the Republicans were...hoping McCain would win! *gasp* So it stands to reason that they would be hoping Obama would fail. If Obama fails, it shows the Democrats were wrong. That's how this works. Why CNN is so shocked, I dunno.

Second, the CNN reporters were convinced that Rush must be anti-American, because wishing for Obama's failure would be wishing for America's failure. So, none of these guys were wishing for Bush's failure? None of them were pleased to see Bush's policies doing poorly? None of these guys cackled with glee when Bush did something unsuccessful? Because that would make them anti-American too, wouldn't it? You know, since Bush was our President for eight years?

Even Saturday Night Live made fun of the media's obvious Obamania. They did a skit that was a send-up of a debate between Obama and Hillary Clinton, where all the questions towards Obama were things like, "Can I get you anything to drink?" and all the questions towards Hillary were, you know, QUESTIONS. Heck, when even SNL makes fun of it, you know there has to be something to it.

Well, the new era of change began with a slightly better weigh-in this morning than yesterday, but it still wasn't great. I really have to pick it up the rest of this week. Why is it so hard?

You know, yesterday I contemplated the issue of race with regards to the Presidency. Today I contemplate it for a different reason.

On CNN.com there was an article today about a movie premiering at the Sundance Film Festival. This movie, Prom Night in Mississippi, is about a prom held in 2007 in Charleston, Mississippi. They had proms for years, of course, but this one was different; this was the first prom in the town to ever allow both black and white students to attend. Traditionally the town, only about 2,000 people in size, held TWO proms: one for white students, one for blacks. Last school year was the first time they offered an integrated prom night. They still held a "whites only" prom, but it turns out that the integrated prom was better attended and peaceful, while a fight broke out between two white boys at the whites-only prom.

Why is this of note? First of all, this isn't 40 years ago, or 30, or 20, or even 10. This was just last school year.

And this town, where they still offer a "whites only" prom, is only 66 miles from the town where I live.

Attitudes like that, offering a dance where admission depends on the color of one's skin, is just as stupid as the attitude that someone should vote for a black candidate simply because he's black.

It's great that the United States has elected a black President. But the day when a minority is elected to an office and NO ONE exclaims over it, because no one even notices that person is a minority, THAT'S when I'll believe that things have truly changed.

Well, it's time for Barack Obama to put up or shut up. All this time the Democrats have been preaching change. Well, they got their administration in; let's see some change.

It isn't that I have anything against Obama. I'm certainly proud of our country and its ability to see past racial and gender lines. But if they think that the world is suddenly going to be a rosy, happy, better place tomorrow...well, I'd hide the guns, because there are going to be some sorely mistaken folks.

I was especially struck by something an NPR correspondent said on the radio this morning while I was driving to work. She was commenting on how early people had shown up on the Mall in DC for the inauguration, and she said, "All these people just want to be a part of an event that changes everything."

This event does not change EVERYTHING. Sadly, it doesn't change much of ANYTHING. People have not automatically stopped hating other people because they are different colors, genders, religions, orientations, or nationalities. People have not stopped judging others on completely ridiculous bases.

Just because an African American man was elected President does not mean every president from now until the end of time will be a minority. I've got news for you, folks; we'll probably have another old white guy in the Oval Office at some point. This does not immediately make it possible for blacks to get better jobs, better housing, or better health care, and it certainly doesn't keep inner-city blacks from shooting each other over the stupidest shit imaginable.

All this does is add a new page to the history books, for a new President. We would've had a new page anyway, regardless of who won.

I am NOT a racist. But I view Obama's election for what it is. Not the event that changes everything, but an event that shows how far we have come as a nation. We still have very, very far to go.

My fear is that people have hyped Obama so much he won't be able to live up to the expectations. The man is not a savior. He will not eradicate the US deficit tomorrow. In fact, he's going to add drastically to it (if he follows the typical Democrat pattern of spend, spend, spend). He will not (CANNOT) end our wars in Iraq and Afghanistan tomorrow. Bringing the troops home prematurely would be a tremendous mistake, and he knows it. That's why he let the military leadership President Bush had established remain in place. He will not immediately restore the world's faith in the US, in either our popularity or our industry.

All he can do is make the best decisions he can. That's the same thing McCain would have done, in the same position.

So, don't hype Obama as the Messiah. Don't expect to wake up tomorrow in a New World Order. Don't have such high expectations that the poor guy won't be able to live up to them. Just sit back, hold tight, expect things to probably get worse before they can get better.

And don't feed me this crap about how our electing a black President is going to "change everything". At this point in our history, racism is far down on the list of our worries.

And I'm not even going to post this morning's weigh-in because it SUCKED. Let's see Obama change THAT.

Oof. I knew I had it coming. But I was still somewhat taken aback by the scope. Today's weigh-in: 200.6. Ouch. I knew after the fast food and the beer and the four days in a row without working out that the weigh-in would be a gain rather than a loss, but I didn't really foresee a gain of almost two whole pounds. Eek. I know I can work hard this week at cutting down on eating and hit the gym hard, but still. Ouch.

Today's weigh-in was 198.8. Not the fabulous 197's of a few days ago, but a .2 drop from yesterday, despite TWO fast food meals (chicken fingers from Zaxby's for lunch and a chicken sandwich from Arby's, plus fried potato products from both). Also, I still haven't gone to the gym, instead relying on longer walks of the doggie.

Tomorrow's almost certainly won't go well, although I've done several LONG walks with the dog today (there must be a bug somewhere in the house, because he has been exhibiting his "the bug's gonna get me" behaviors all day). We made a big batch of chili since the weather has been so cool (heck, cold, earlier this week--daily highs were only in the 20's), which I'm sure isn't the best thing I could be eating. Plus, I'm drinking beer while watching football. And last, we made bread in our bread machine, and I ate a big ol' slice (with honey on it, still warm from the bread machine...yum). Needless to say, I've consumed more than my share of calories today.

What I need to do is consider "volumetrics". There's a book, and recipes, and all that jazz, but the main concept is simply to eat foods that have what they call "low calorie density". In other words, they are foods that take up a lot of space, but don't contain as many calories. For example, a fruit parfait with nonfat yogurt and fresh fruit might contain the same amount of calories (and less fat) than a couple of chocolate chip cookies, but the parfait takes up more space in your stomach, helping you feel full. Things like fresh fruits and veggies, skim milk, and water-based stuff like soups have lower calorie densities than starchy stuff like potatoes and rice, breads, meat, sugary snacks, and fats. It's a way of filling your stomach with stuff that won't load up the calories. One of the most basic rules of volumetrics is to drink a full glass (not a "glass", which is 8 oz., but an actual glass of 12 to 20 oz.) of water before every meal. Not only is water good for you, but it takes up space in your stomach, making you feel full sooner.

I need to make sure I have lots of low density, high water foods and fruits available to me to snack on. I still need to be aware of the portions I am eating; even healthy foods can be unhealthy if you overeat them.

It's been fourteen days, and I'm proud to announce that I've lost...a pound.

*sigh*

The epic weight losses of the middle of this past week evaporated into a steaming pile of fail. I finished out the week without making it back to the gym. I didn't eat particularly well. So I guess the fact there is any loss at all from last week to this week is a good thing.

In looking at information about weight loss, the basic premise is simple. One pound of weight is worth 3,500 calories. When you burn 3,500, you will lose one pound. But here's where it becomes more challenging. That 3,500 calories is BEYOND what your body needs to sustain its own weight. For example, the average person, according to the studies, needs approximately 2,000 calories daily to maintain whatever weight he or she is currently at, and that's for someone who has an average activity level (so not a hardcore gym rat and not a couch potato). In order for that average person to lose a pound of weight, he or she must either reduce the number of calories taken in each day, or increase the amount of calories burned through exercise each day. That means, if I eat about 2,000 calories per day, I need to burn, say, 500 calories a day at the gym. After five days of that, theoretically I should have a weight loss of one pound. I could also keep my activity level the same, but decrease the amount of food I eat so that I eventually earn my one pound loss.

Now, of course, there are all kinds of variables involved in this. It's hard to guarantee that you've consumed EXACTLY a certain number of calories, or that you really burned the number of calories that the treadmill claims you did. That's why the best form of weight loss is to combine a reasonable, low-calorie diet with as much exercise as possible, every day.

Which is why all I've lost, in two whole weeks, is one pound. All it takes is a bit of backsliding, either eating or not working out, to undo all the hard work of previous days.

I've gotta do better than this...

Well, I knew it was too good to be true. After two days of near-miraculous weigh-ins, karma decided to give me a rap on the nose with a rolled up newspaper. This morning's weigh-in: 198.4. A full pound up from yesterday. Of course, while my magic losses of the past two days were inexplicable, this gain is all too familiar. Both Thursday and today I did not go to the gym. The last workout I had was Wednesday morning, because Wednesday afternoon was spent sitting at home, waiting for an electrician who never came (our circuit breakers for the house are sparking occasionally, a bad sign recognizable by even the most DIY inept people out there, like me). Thursday morning was a no-show due to poor sleep and a big headache. Since this week (and next week) I'm proctoring study hall after school on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays, I opted out of yesterday afternoon so I could get home and spend the evening with my husband, with the hope that maybe the electrician might come. Nope. And this morning was a record-breaker as far as chilly is concerned. The Mid-South region is not known for its winters--they are generally in the 30's and 40's with some rain and gloom but little "winter" weather. But last night got down to single digits in some areas, and my car's thermometer read 13* as I drove to work this morning (with my heated seats). Since our house is not insulated AT ALL (moron landlord) it gets quite cold, and a leg stuck out from under the covers at 4 to test the environment found it unsuitable for human life, at which point I pulled it back under the covers and went back to sleep for another hour and a half. With all that non-exercise going on, it isn't surprising that my weight didn't stay down, although I do think a whole pound is a bit harsh. Oh well. So far for the week I'm still down based on last week's debacle. Hopefully I can get back on track this afternoon and this weekend.

Another inexplicable moment. This morning's weigh-in, after yesterday's impressive 1 1/2 lb drop and a dinner of pizza:

197.4

Can anyone tell me how I dropped two pounds in two days? I'm boggled. I even had pizza for dinner. PIZZA. All I can think of is a Bloom County comic strip from years ago (I searched for it but couldn't find it online). Opus is standing next to a scale and worrying about weighing in. He says something to the effect of, "I probably weigh two pounds more. This is so depressing." Then he weighs in, and exclaims, "Two pounds lighter! Without even trying! How about that!" But then he sits next to the the scale and says, "I probably have cancer. This is so depressing." Not that I think I might have cancer or anything, but it does make me wonder how I could have lost two pounds so quickly. But then again, it's been so long since I really tried to lose weight. Maybe this IS what it's like when you are successful. Having been so unsuccessful for so long, I can't remember...

Another funny note: At the gym the other day, I was trying to get through my morning circuit of weights. I do machines, not because they're better, but because they are faster to set up and I'm on a deadline in the mornings. Anyway, I had three leg machines left to do, but they were being occupied by a group of about six or so older (50's, maybe) men. They were trading off on reps on the machines and rest periods, and rotating the group through the machines. This was a pain, because I'd already done all the other leg machines, and I really didn't want to get started on the cardio portion of my workout without finishing the rest. The men were joking with each other and chatting like they had all the time in the world. I wanted to interrupt and let them know I was waiting on the machines, but I didn't. Again, all I could think of was a Far Side cartoon. It said something about a tough gang of astrophysicists who would take over the telescope and not let anyone else use it. It just seems like such an ironic situation.

This morning had a serious "huh?" moment. Yesterday was a mixed bag, with a high weigh-in (199.8), a morning at the gym, "real" food at lunch instead of some little diet meal (often I'll eat a Healthy Choice meal of some kind, but this was actually homecooked: a chicken breast covered in cream o'shroom soup and a baked potato), no gym in the afternoon, and a sandwich and mashed potatoes for dinner. So I sort of figured this morning would be all about the Meh. Instead, My weigh-in: 198.2.

What the hell? Not that I mind, of course; any day I can randomly produce a 1 1/2 lb weight loss is great, but...how the hell did that happen?

Perhaps it was my body's reaction to The Biggest Loser last night, guiltily dumping fat. Maybe someone slipped me some ALLI (hope not; it's a good 100 feet to the nearest bathroom).

Anyway, this HAS to be some kind of freaky anomaly. I can't figure out what I could have done to drop that much weight in one day. My life isn't like The Biggest Loser; the kinds of losses they experience weekly on the show (10 lbs, 20 lbs, even 30 lbs) simply don't happy to normal people. This may be the biggest one-day drop that I've ever had, as far as I know.

Wish I could figure out what exactly I did, so I can do it again tomorrow. If I could lose that much each day...in just under a month and a half I could be done. *sigh* Pipe dreams, I know.

OK, this was too hilarious not to post. In my ever expanding quest to keep myself from expanding, I search high and low for ideas, recipes, and "quick loss" plans. One thing I've seen in the stores all over is this product called ALLI. It touts itself as the only FDA-approved OTC weight loss medication/plan. I haven't tried it, and I hadn't read up on it at all. So I finally decided to look it up and see about it for myself.

Their website looked good, but as I read over the information time and time again I noted that the way ALLI works is to prevent the absorption of up to 25% of the fat you take in daily. The premise is, if you don't absorb fat, your body will use the stuff you've already got. Seems simple enough, but for some reason this seemed to remind me of something. I thought about it for awhile, and then I remembered: a few years back, someone finally chemically created a fake fat. "Olean" or "Olestra", I can't remember off the top of my head which was which. But anyway, it sounded great: a fat that your body couldn't absorb. What a wonderful idea! But then the side effects became known.

Basically, anything your body can't absorb, it eliminates via waste. Essentially, everything you poop out is stuff that didn't get absorbed for one reason or another. Well, if this stuff couldn't be absorbed, it got pooped out. And of course, like all fats and oils, it was GREASY. So you had a lot of people experiencing some very bad potty emergencies when the greasy, oily poop decided it had to come out NOW. I think the term I heard at one point was "anal leakage". I don't care who you are; that's BAD.

So, I suspected ALLI might be the same kind of problem. I looked up "ALLI side effects" on Google and got this wonderfully funny post on a website called The West Virginia Surf Report.

Alli Side Effects In Layman's Terms
by Jeff Kay

Alli is a new over-the-counter weight-loss pill which, predictably enough, has proven to be a massive best-seller from the moment it became available. The drug, manufactured by GlaxoSmithKline, reportedly works by blocking the absorption of excess fats by the body. And folks are waddling, not walking, to their local drug stores for a chance to start on the Alli "program."

As is the case with most drugs, Alli comes with a risk of certain side effects. Or, as they're known on the company website, treatment effects.

A person is reportedly limited to 15 grams of fat per meal, and if they go over (or even if they don't), there's a significant chance they'll find themselves out behind a shopping center somewhere, crying and clutching a wad of horrifyingly soiled undergarments, searching for a place to ditch it.

As best as I can tell, anyway...

Since a lot of this stuff is couched in language that is technically truthful, but very carefully worded, I've taken it upon myself to go through the list of side (treatment) effects and warnings, and translate it all into layman's terms.

I'm no scientist or doctor, and don't pretend to have any special knowledge. I'm just a person who's fairly good with words and reading between the lines... The highlighted phrases below are direct quotes from the Alli website, with my translations in between.

Undigested fat cannot be absorbed and passes through the body naturally. The excess fat is not harmful. In fact, you may recognize it in the toilet as something that looks like the oil on top of a pizza.

Here the drug makers are trying to soothe the nerves of the skeptical fatty, by speaking their language. Pizza is something fatties understand, and a big part of the reason they’re interested in Alli to begin with. Pizza is good, pizza is reassuring… even when it’s flowing from your ass like molten lava.

The website mentions seeing the undigested fat in a toilet, but that’s clearly a best case scenario. You might also see it on the tops of your shoes, across the hood of a car, or way up the shower curtain, near the loops.

The fat passes out of your body, so you may have bowel changes, known as treatment effects.

Bowel changes. Notice how they phrase that? It means stuff will be happening the likes of which you could never have imagined. It’ll be like a daily Dean Koontz novel inside your underwear.

You may get:

gas with oily spotting

You’ll be farting Wesson oil straight through your Dockers…

loose stools

and having violent chipped beef explosions...

more frequent stools that may be hard to control

all the time, with a sphincter that can no longer be counted as a friend.

Eating a low-fat diet lowers the chance of these bowel changes. Limit fat intake in your meals to an average of 15 grams.

The McDonald’s Big Mac has 34 grams of fat, and the Burger King Whopper has 40. Eat either of these while taking Alli, and you’ll very likely be transformed into a diarrhea cannon.

Learning how to manage treatment effects is an important part of being successful with alli. Here's how to take control:

Start trimming fat from your diet now, even before you begin taking alli. Then pick a day to begin taking alli, such as a weekend day so you can stay close to home if you experience a treatment effect. Make the timing work for you. If you're getting ready to travel or attend a social event, hold off on starting with alli until the event is over.

Blowing liquid feces down a row of bridesmaids, for instance, could be viewed negatively in certain circles. Further, an unexpected bout of the power-squirts while riding “The Bullet” at the county fair might not ingratiate you with your friends. Or anyone on the fairway. Or the folks in the parking lot walking to their cars.

While no one likes experiencing treatment effects, they might help you think twice about eating questionable fat content. If you think of it like that, alli can act like a security guard for your late-night cravings.

You see, when you think about it, shitting yourself is actually a positive.

You can't "save fat grams" from lunch and "spend them" at dinner. Spread your daily fat gram allowance of 15 grams on average per meal over the whole day.

Cheating can lead to embarrassment, tears, and the introduction of a frantically constructed toilet paper crack-wedge in the bathroom of an Applebee's. It’s simply not worth it.

You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it's probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work.

Until you get the hang of it, you should probably take along a rolling suitcase full of brown clothes everywhere you go, while taking Alli. Luckily, however, turd-colored clothing is in this season; turd is the new vomit.

If co-workers ask about it, there is no shame in telling the truth. You might be surprised how understanding folks can be if you simply say, “I dress like this to conceal the poop that's constantly soaking through the seat of my pants.”

You may not usually get gassy, but it's a possibility when you take alli. The bathroom is really the best place to go when that happens.

Showboating is not recommended.

You can use a food journal to recognize what foods can lead to treatment effects. For example, writing down what you eat may help you learn that marinara sauce is a better option than Alfredo sauce.

In addition to a handcart full of extra pants designed to camouflage your anal leakage, it might also be a good idea to carry a schematic and information wheel, so you don't repeat past mistakes and have a treatment effect halfway up your back.

I hope this information has proven to be valuable.

Hmmph. I should have expected this morning's weigh-in, with yesterday's epic fail of exercise and food (no gym, Outback Steakhouse for dinner). And yet, if I had expected anything, I should have thought it would have been sooooo much worse.

I weighed in at 199.8. Yes, it was a 1/2 lb increase from yesterday, but after no workout at all on Monday AND a 9 oz sirloin with garlic mashed potatoes, a salad with ranch dressing, and Outback's totally awesome brown bread, it SHOULD have been more like 200.8. So I am actually pretty surprised. But I really do need to be better, both about the eating and the working out.

I can't figure out how people have families and still find time to get to the gym. I look at my own day, and I'm impressed that I make it to the gym when I do. For example, my schedule today:

4:00 a.m. out of bed, get dressed, walk dog, get everything together for the day
4:35 a.m. leave to go to gym
5:00 a.m. workout
6:00 a.m. shower, get dressed
6:30 a.m. drive to work
7:05 a.m. arrive at work (school doesn't start until 8:00, but I get everything ready for the day)
8:00 a.m. school begins
3:15 p.m. school ends
3:20 p.m. study hall (I proctor this three days a week, for two weeks on and then two weeks off)
5:00 p.m. leave school to drive to gym
5:45 p.m. workout
6:30 p.m. drive home
7:00 p.m. dinner, quality time with the hubby, computer, and TV
9:00 p.m. go to bed, get up in seven hours and do it all over again.

Well, "they" say you aren't supposed to eat within three hours of bedtime. So, when in the heck would I eat dinner? I'd have to eat on the go between work and the gym in the evening, which would probably be fast food or something similarly "not a balanced meal". And what if I actually had kids? When would I spend time with them?

I just get frustrated because I don't see how someone can do EVERYTHING that it is recommended one do to stay healthy. How can you eat all the servings you are supposed to eat, without eating 5,000 calories? How do you fit in the number and length of workouts you need to lose weight, when you also have to work and interact with people? I'm beginning to think the only people who can realistically achieve all these things are people who have tons of money, no job, and just work out all day long, and have their meals professionally prepared for them, and ship their kids off with a nanny so they don't have to be bothered with them.

it seems like accomplishing all this is unrealistic. So how do I set realistic goals that will still make me happy?

Hmm. Today's weigh-in was 199.4. That's up .2 from my nice happy low of yesterday. Bummer, but since we got Domino's oven-baked sandwiches, cheesy bread, and chicken kickers, I guess I should be happy it wasn't more of a gain.

I didn't respond well to the beginning of my week. Instead of hitting the gym this morning, I hit the snooze button (so to speak; I don't really use the snooze. I have an alarm with two settings, so I just set the second alarm). Then, we went out to eat for dinner. I'm sure tomorrow's weigh-in will be less than stellar. Oh well. Guess I have my work cut out for me the rest of this week.

Well, I actually made a full week! I've worked out every day for seven days, at least once per day. AND I weighed in this morning at 199.2, which is the lowest weight I've had since, well, since I started weighing myself again last weekend. Yay me! Of course, I have a day full of football and food I still have to get through.

Also, I'm a grandma! Well, not exactly. A friend of ours, a kid we had coached back when we were all quite a bit younger, just had a baby on Wednesday. We kind of looked out for her when she was still in high school, and she has always jokingly (semi) referred to us as her parents. So now that she's a mommy, that makes me a grandma! At age 34. Without ever having had kids. What a weird world.

Weigh-in: 199.6

Not my low of a few days ago, but not the 200 of even yesterday. Very interesting. Of course, weekends are when I find it hardest to behave, food-wise, because I'm home all day with exposure to snacks AND we tend to do silly things like eat out or order pizza on weekends. So, I guess we'll see tomorrow's weigh-in. Cross your fingers...

Stupid $%&#^&* SciFi channel keeps canceling my shows. Just watched the final episode of Stargate:Atlantis. Not incredibly impressed. Best moment by far was the revelation that the newest member of the Daedalus class ship will be named "the General Hammond" after the late Don S. Davis' recurring character. Got a little choked up at that one. But otherwise the episode was full of "eh" moments. For a final episode it was simply...unremarkable. Apparently they are creating a third piece to the "Stargate" phenomenon, called Stargate: Universe. Perhaps instead of creating new shows that relate to the Stargate story out of pieces that try to be fresh and new but very obviously are patterned on previous characters and situations, and they could just go back to what worked: Jack, Sam, Daniel, and Teal'c. Please?

This week just isn't going according to the original plan. I was supposed to be working out, eating better, and losing weight. Instead, I seem to be stuck in the same place that I've been for at least a year now. It's like being in an episode of Star Trek or something.

Yesterday I had that weird double weigh-in with two different weights two hours apart, and I spent the rest of the day wondering which one was the REAL weigh-in. Well, apparently the first one was closer to the "truth", because I weighed in this morning at 200.0 AGAIN (see several previous posts this week). WTF?

Actually, I shouldn't be asking WTF because I know for the most part what happened. As I explained yesterday I didn't work out yesterday morning because I was so tired. So that certainly threw my metabolism for the day back to its slow pace. Although I did manage to hit the gym yesterday afternoon to swim, that wasn't enough to do anything other than perhaps maintain whatever my morning weight had been. But then we decided to go out to dinner last night, where I had a cup of certainly high-calorie soup (overloaded potato--all that starch! and fat! and carbs!), a big breaded chicken sandwich with ranch dressing poured over it, AND a side of smashed potatoes (more starch! and fat! and carbs!).

So I guess the fact that I'm still sitting at $#%&^@* 200 lbs should be considered a blessing. It could have been worse.

Well, there are ups and downs in this little endeavor, of course. Both, this morning. I woke up at 4, as I have done each day this week, to walk the dog, get my stuff together, and get to the gym by 5. To my dismay, I found two things: 1) I was REALLY tired and 2) my weigh-in was 200.2, up .2 lbs from yesterday. I surmised that the +.2 was probably the result of some Mexican food overindulgence last night, and that the tiredness was a direct result of staying up to watch several episodes of Ghosthunters. While the +.2 SHOULD HAVE motivated me to go hit the gym extra hard, instead I succumbed to the tiredness and went back to bed.

But here's the funny part: when I got up the second time, at 6, I weighed myself again. This time, I weighed in at 199.4. Somehow, in my sleep, in two hours, I managed to lose almost a pound! Man, if this were a perfect world I could SLEEP off my weight! Just imagine! Sleep for 12 hours, lose almost 5 lbs! I'd be going to bed as soon as I got home!

Anyway, I'm a bit disappointed in myself for not making it to the gym this morning, but I'm hoping to at least make it this afternoon and both trips tomorrow. Maybe I really will manage to lose actual weight this week. And get some sleep, while I'm at it.

Today's weigh-in: 200.0

Well, I'm back where I started on Sunday. I guess that's good; technically it's almost a 1/2 lb weight-loss this week. Of course, when the week started with a 1/2 lb GAIN, that isn't so great, but I do still have three more days to go. It's possible, if I can stay on track, I might end up with a whole pound! Yay!

I did better about working out yesterday. The same routine in the morning, and then in the afternoon I hit the pool. It wasn't pretty. I'm really glad now that I didn't participate in the "old timers" swim meet my in-laws tried to get me into over Christmas. Not only had I not been in a pool since the summer, but it would have been at altitude too. Yikes. As it was, I barely survived the first 100 yards yesterday without stopping and panting. I only did 1200 yards, but it's a start.

I almost caved in this morning when the alarm went off. 4 a.m. really is way too early. But I know from sad experience that, as hard as it is to get out of bed in the morning, it's still easier than making myself go by the gym after work, when I'm tired and all I really want to do is go home and spend time with my husband and my dog. So I dragged my sorry self out from under the warm covers into the chilly house and set off on my morning. Meh. At least I did it. My goal is to actually make it to the gym all five mornings this week. Only two more to go!

Weigh-in: 200.2

That's an improvement over yesterday, at least, but I'm still not at my Sunday morning weight of 200, and I've gotta work extra hard to get below 200 by Sunday. Of course, it would help if I would A) stick to my exercise plan and B) eat right.

I didn't hit the gym yesterday afternoon, despite my original plan. I did my all-too-frequent Monday afternoon driveby, where I look at the parking lot, grump about how many people work out on Mondays, and say to myself, "Well, I'll just go home and do sit-ups and push-ups and take the dog for a long walk." When I get home there's always something to distract me from the sit-ups and the push-ups and the long walks. And even worse, I drag my husband with me--instead of going to the gym, when he hears that I'm just going home, he just comes home too.

It used to be that we talked each other INTO working out. One would be sitting around and the other would say, "Hey, let's go play racquetball" or "Let's go skate" or "Let's go ride bikes." When we were both being good about working out we'd prop each other up and encourage each other. We'd make sure we both made it to the gym. But now we're in the habit of talking each other OUT of workouts. One will call the other and say, "Are you going to the gym?" and the other will say, "Well, I was going to, but I really don't WANT to" and the first will say, "Fine by me; I'll meet you at (fill in the name of the restaurant)." Even if we plan to work out at home, it just ends up not happening.

I feel extra-bad about it, because I'm the one who is at least getting the morning workout. My husband doesn't usually make it to the gym in the mornings, and when I cop out on an afternoon workout like I did yesterday, I deprive him of the opportunity to exercise. I've got to start sucking it up and doing the afternoons, because if I don't, I'm afraid he won't get the chance to either.

I also need to make better food choices, especially when we go out to eat. That should be the time to get a SALAD (unless it's something extra-special, like Texas de Brazil). I did slightly better than usual last night, when we ate at Taco Bell, because I opted for items from the "fresco" menu, which basically seems to be a substitution of chopped onions, tomatoes, and cilantro for the shredded cheese that usually accompanies a Taco Bell product. However, I should have just gotten ONE item, not two. I got a burrito and a taco. I need to learn to cut the portions back!

*sigh* I hope tomorrow's weigh-in is better. I did hit the gym this morning, and I WILL go to the gym this afternoon.

Well, I at least kinda started out on the right foot this morning. I did make it to the gym, which is a good thing. I did my standard (or at least what WAS my standard) morning workout: 50 crunches on the crunch machine (I really should do these on an exercise ball instead, I guess), 30 back/sides on the back/side stand (don't really know how to explain it--it stands at an angle with a brace for your feet and a pad for your hip area, and you lean over it and rise back up), reps on some of the leg machines (what I call the "gynecology" machines that do your abductor/adductor muscles of your hips and thighs, the calf press, and the quad and hamstring machines), and then 30 minutes on the elliptical machine. Since my morning workout is pretty much all machine-oriented, I should do non-machine stuff in the afternoons, such as swimming, running, biking on a real bike, etc. It all depends on what is available when I get to the gym, and how crowded it is.

The reason I said I "kinda" started out right was because my weigh-in was WRONG. I managed to gain almost half a pound between yesterday's weigh-in and today's. Probably had something to do with the pizza, beer, breaded fish fillets and tater tots I consumed over the weekend. I needed to get it out of the way, since it was my last weekend of freedom, so to speak. But it does hit on the temptations that I have to deal with. For example, we got a bunch of candy in our stockings at Christmas and brought it home with us. What do we do with it? We bought our favorite beer while we were on vacation and brought it home with us because they don't sell it in the South. What do we do with it? My sister-in-law sent pieces of her husband's birthday cake home with us because we missed his party. What do we do with it? We have all kinds of probably unhealthy food in the fridge and cupboard (Hamburger Helper, Hot Pockets, tater tots, etc). What do we do with it? This is where the self-control and portion-control issues kick in for me. It's one thing for some people to have candy around the house; they can resist the urge to scarf it all, and consume it a piece or two daily. Not me. M&Ms and Hershey's Kisses disappear by the handful when I'm around. One piece of pizza turns into four. I really need to be vigilant.

At school it won't be quite so hard. I can only eat what's available, since I really can't run out and pick anything up in the middle of the day. If I can limit what I eat to what's healthy, and also limit the amount stashed in my desk (even good things can be bad if you eat too much of them), and chew gum or suck a mint when I need something in my mouth, I might be able to restrain myself.

It was interesting to see the New Year's resolution crew at the gym this morning. Not quite as many as there have been in years past. I figured it would be packed, but there really weren't significantly more people there than there had been the last time I'd hit the gym before work (beginning of December). Maybe I'll see them this afternoon...

Well, after my weigh-in this morning, there's good news and there's bad news. The good news is, I managed to not gain any weight on our Christmas vacation. The bad news is, I didn't lose any weight either. I weighed in this morning at 200.0 lbs, technically a .2 lbs loss from my weigh-in on Dec. 19 before we left, but that could just be water weight so it really doesn't count.

I would love to lose 2 lbs each week, but I know from past experience that a 2 lb drop is not likely. I would just like to have a loss each week. I need to get back to my two-a-day workouts, and I need to get back to weighing in every morning and recording the data in a spreadsheet.

So, now that I have a starting place, I can get started for real. I hope....

Whew. Well, it's January 3, and we're finally back home (as it were). We left on December 19, so it's been a long and enjoyable holiday, and I can't say that I'm really for it to be over. Everything returns to normal with work and such on Monday, so the rest of today and tomorrow will be dedicated to decompressing, regrouping, and preparing for the work week. Meh.

Haven't weighed myself yet to see what the ultimate damage is from the Christmas food season, but it's sure to be ugly. I'll wait until tomorrow morning, when hopefully food and such is out of my system, to get my starting weight for the New Year. I'm sure it's gonna be a bad one...

Happy New Year! As usual, I am considering the same resolutions as I have for the past few years. I guess I'm not very creative (or very well-motivated).

My main concern is, as it has been every year, weight loss. I weighed myself before we left for our Christmas vacation, and I was sitting at about 200 lbs (25 lbs heavier than my last successful run at weight loss, three years ago). The scale at my in-laws' has had me at about 195, but I don't know how that compares to my scale at home, so I'll have to wait (weight?) a few more days until we return to know whether the holiday has been particularly damaging. I've tried to be good.

Anyway, as I am well out of the weight ranges for my kayaks, and we have an annual paddling trip coming up in the middle of March that will require me to spend quite a bit of time in my boat and a lot of winter paddling gear for multiple days in a row, I'll need to lose as much weight as possible and get in much better shape so I can survive the trip. That trip will be March 12-15, which is pretty much exactly 10 weeks from today. I'd love to get 20 lbs off by then. It will mean being pretty dedicated to the two-a-day workouts that I was so good at several years ago. It will also mean being much more careful with what and how much I eat, something I've NEVER been very good at.

I'm also motivated to lose the weight so I can get off the blood pressure and heartburn medications I've been taking for several years now. My blood pressure is a bit high, not horrible but certainly not great since I'm only 34. And the heartburn thing is a pain in the butt--I take Prilosec OTC daily and it does a pretty good job, but it would be so much nicer if I didn't have to deal with it at all. If I can shed some weight, I should be able to do away with the daily meds. That would be nice.

The rest of my resolutions are as they always are: get more organized, keep my house cleaner, do a better job at keeping up with my school stuff...pretty typical, all of it.

So anyway, Happy New Year to one and all. I hope everyone has a safe, prosperous, joy-filled 2009. And...we're off!