I don't know what has put me in a melancholy mood. Could be the season: days getting short, weather turning chilly, some rain this week, the leaves falling. Could be my birthday this past week. I've reached that stage of life where birthdays now indicate growing older rather than becoming an adult. Could also be my mom's birthday, which was also this past week. I miss her terribly still, and the closeness of our birthdays, which was always something special we shared, was a reminder of her absence. Heck, could even be PMS.

Anyway, I've been in sort of a gloomy mood lately. Not depressed exactly, but just less than energetic and more likely to expect the bad rather than the good. Certainly nothing bad HAS happened; I've just been more of a grump recently than normal.

So, I got to thinking, as I scanned through the radio stations looking for music, about sad songs. There are plenty of them out there. I'm sure lots of them are country songs. I'm sure there are thousands of really sad songs that I've never heard. But I started thinking about the saddest songs I HAD heard, and what made them sad.

Some songs are sad purely because they deal with a sad topic. Death rarely makes for a happy time; the same goes for lost love. Some are sad because they are tragic: a bad decision, something that could and should have been prevented. Some are sad because of the back story; the song might sound a little sad just upon listening, but once you know the behind-the-scenes information they become positively heartbreaking. And of course, some songs are sad because of specific associations the listener has with them, memories connected to the music.

Once I got on the topic of sad songs, I made a list of the saddest songs I could recall listening to, and what made them sad.

Since the best part of being in a dark mood is spreading the wealth, I figured I'd list my top ten here, along with my reasoning for them. Feel free to comment and add your own contributions. I'm sure there are plenty I overlooked as I drove to work this morning.

10. Candle in the Wind '97 (Elton John)

What it's about: Elton John and his writing partner, Bernie Taupin, rewrote their original lyrics (about Marilyn Monroe) to memorialize Princess Diana after her death in a Paris car accident.

Why it's sad: Already a sad song about a life cut short, it takes a very personal look at the too-short life and tragic death of a very kind and genuinely good person (Elton John was close friends with the royal family). I remember as a little girl the mystique of Princess Di. Knowing that there were real princesses in the world was a very big deal for little girls in the '80s, and such a terrible death rocked anyone who ever believed in fairy tales.

9. The Show Must Go On (Queen)

What it's about: A performer must act a part that he certainly does not feel inside. However, he continues the role for the benefit of others.

Why it's sad: This was one of the final songs Freddie Mercury recorded with Queen. He was dying of AIDS at the time (Brian May, Queen's guitarist, wrote the song for Freddie). It is incredible to me that Mercury could have put so much power in the vocals of this song, as gravely ill as he was. I remember seeing the video for the very first time only a few days before Mercury revealed he had AIDS, and only a few days later he was gone. Again a reminder of a life cut short.

8. One Tin Soldier (Coven)

What it's about: Two groups of people, one from the valley and one from the hill, fight over a supposed treasure on the land belonging to the hill people. When the battle is over and many have died, the treasure is revealed to be the message "Peace on Earth".

Why it's sad: Irony, people, irony. The assumption that treasure must be monetary in value and that it's worth killing for is really terrible. War is supposed to suck, but there's supposed to be a better reason.

7. The Cat's in the Cradle (Harry Chapin but I like the Ugly Kid Joe version better)

What it's about: A father who is perpetually too busy to spend time with his son finds the tables turned when his son grows up and no longer has time for him or for his own family.

Why it's sad: It's real life. People constantly spend more time on material goods and their jobs than they do with their own families. The horrible realization at the end of the song by the narrator that not only has his son abandoned familial ties because he's too busy but that the narrator TAUGHT the son to be that way is crushing.

6. Concrete Angel (Martina McBride)

What it's about: A little girl is abused by family members and ends up dying because of it.

Why it's sad: First of all, just singing about a little abused girl is terribly depressing. The little girl in the song toughs it out and doesn't let outsiders know that she's been beaten--she's a "concrete angel". But the twist comes when the song describes the angel headstone resting over her grave in the cemetery, because she's died from the abuse. So now the song sings about the concrete angel forever watching over the other angel. *sniff*

5. Tears in Heaven (Eric Clapton)

What it's about: The singer is asking a loved one who has obviously passed on if they will recognize each other and get to be together in heaven someday. It also seems that the singer must visit heaven in his dreams but knows he cannot stay because he doesn't belong there yet. There may also be some question or concern on the part of the singer as to whether he himself deserves to even GO to heaven someday.

Why it's sad: The worry about finding loved ones in the afterlife probably concerns a lot of people. But the song is especially poignant because Clapton wrote it on the death of his four-year-old son, who fell from a window 53 stories above the ground. How Clapton can even bring himself to sing the song in concert with such personal grief is incredibly brave.

4. The War was in Color (Carbon Leaf)

What it's about: The song is an apparent conversation between a grandfather, who fought in WWII, and his grandson, who stumbled across a box of his grandfather's memorabilia. The grandson wants to know if the war was like all the old war movies he's seen on TV. The grandfather says no, the war was in color. He then very graphically describes how terrible war really is.

Why it's sad: This song has one of the cruelest plot twists ever. Near the end of the song it is revealed that this is an imaginary conversation, because the grandfather died during the war and didn't get to experience the birth of his son, the grandson's own father. So why did the grandfather fight in the war and make such a sacrifice? He says it's to give his grandson "a world without war, a life full of color". The agony here is that WWII was not the "war to end all wars", because we still have the damned things. It could be that his grandson will someday go to war as well. So his sacrifice was all for naught.

3. If You're Reading This (Tim McGraw)

What it's about: The song is a letter from a soldier being read by his family after his death in war. He wrote the letter in the event he died while overseas. He apologizes to his wife, hopes his parents are proud of him, wishes he could be there for the birth of his impending daughter, and asks that his family remember not just him but his comrades.

Why it's sad: Are you kidding? Even a very anti-war protester should be able to understand and sympathize with the final requests of a dying person. This soldier is not being selfish but instead is trying his best to help his family cope with an incredibly difficult situation. God bless our troops.

2. Kilkelly, Ireland (Peter Jones)

What it's about: Real letters kept by a family and found by a man in his attic were used to write this song. The letters are written by a father in Ireland to his son John, who came to the US during one of the many famines in Ireland. The letters keep John appraised of the struggles of his family still in Ireland. Each letter ends with a wish that John, who sounds from the gist of the letters to be far more successful in making a livelihood than his family across the sea, would come home to visit.

Why it's sad: John never went home. The final letter comes from one of John's brothers, and relates to him the death of their father. The father continually asked about John as his health grew poorer, and he called out to John as he lay dying. How dreadful. The brother's letter also ends with the same request, "Why don't you think about coming to visit? We'd all love to see you again." We never do know if John ever went back to Ireland. Agonizingly sad.

1. The Christmas Shoes (Donna VanLiere)

What it's about: The narrator is standing in line to buy last minute Christmas gifts with a large group of other flustered and short-tempered shoppers. A small boy ahead of the narrator attempts to purchase a pair of women's shoes but does not have enough money. When he is told he cannot buy the shoes he explains why he wants them: his mother is dying of an undisclosed illness. He wants the shoes to make her happy and to make her look pretty in case she goes to see Jesus. The narrator and others in line help the child buy the shoes and go home, appreciating everything and everyone they have in their lives a little more.

Why it's sad: This should not be a freakin' Christmas song. The death of a parent is awful, especially for small children who don't fully understand what is going on. Obviously, this song is very personal to me, but I had trouble listening to it even before my mother was diagnosed with cancer. Since she died, it's a definite no-no for me.

Any others I've missed? Any happy songs to get me out of my funk?