I miss my mom.
Today is the one-year anniversary of the death of my mother. I honestly don't believe there has been a single day since then that I have not thought of her. I'm constantly hearing or seeing things that trigger the thought, "Oh, I should tell Mom about this" or "Mom would love this". Many times things have happened during the day that I've wished I could talk to her about. I miss the sound of her voice on the long answering machine messages she used to leave (she'd always say, "I was just calling to say hi" and then leave a message that would inevitably get cut off by the machine because it had exceeded the time limit). I miss the confetti that used to fall out of every piece of mail she'd send me (when my husband and I got married we had gold confetti on the tables at the reception--little hearts and angels--and Mom must have swept every single bit into a bag or something, because for the seven years we were married before Mom passed away she'd put a couple bits into the envelops or tucked into the wrapping paper of whatever she'd sent us). Not long ago my father sent me an envelop with a few things, and wrapped in some tissue paper along with one of my mother's opal rings were a few pieces of confetti. I wept. Hindsight is always 20-20, and if I had known that the day she went into surgery (April 19, 2007) would be the last day I would talk to her, I would have let her know what a wonderful mother she was, and how proud I was to be her daughter. I like to think that she knows that anyway.
But boy do I miss my mom.
1 comment:
Amen. I couldn't bring myself to post anything. Once I got off the phone with you, it was all I could do to not lose it. And I completely agree that if we'd had any inkling as to what was coming when she went into surgery that Thursday morning, I would've definitely let her know that I loved her and that she was a wonderful mother. I still have the pillow you made me from one of her shirts. Boy I miss her. I mean seriously. Dad was never much of a chocoholic, but now that he's on his weight-loss kick, there's even less incentive to tell him about some outrageously phenomenal dessert that DAPGF and I discovered. Mom would've eaten that stuff up. Figuratively and literally! Sigh. 1 year. Still doesn't seem real.
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