Sad

Did something this morning that made me very sad...I unfriended two of my original students on Facebook.

In all of this chaos over the murder of George Floyd and the subsequent protests and riots, it has been very telling to see who has posted what. Some people have been very vocal in their support the entire movement including the rioting, some have been supportive of Black Lives Matter but still condemn the violence, and some have remained silent. I understand these positions, although the people who choose to remain silent on the subject are enjoying their privilege to do so. I have agreed with some, I have disagreed with others, and I have unfollowed a few.

So the unfriending of these two ladies that I love dearly has struck me in a very particularly deep way. I made my choice to do so because of the voices they were choosing very specifically to amplify. Neither posted anything decrying the murder of George Floyd, and neither posted anything in support of even peaceful protests. Instead, each of them chose to post social media videos and posts from Candance Owens and Terrence K. Williams, two Black people very vocal in their support of President Trump and the Republican party and their lack of support for the struggles of their own people. These posts accuse Black people of living in the past and relying on their race for excuses, and George Floyd of being a criminal who shouldn't have gotten arrested in the first place.

I struggled with the decision--should I simply unfollow them to remain connected to them on social media without seeing what they posted? Should I block all the hateful voices they chose to amplify over the thousands of other voices who are crying out for help and just keep around the "fun" things they post? What finally sealed the deal for me, so to speak, was the way one of the ladies worded her post of Candace Owens (who said she did not support George Floyd). She said something to the effect that she was sad that George Floyd had died and she believed racism was real but that she also "believed in this woman and what she had to say" and that "anyone who thought this woman did not deserve to voice her opinion could unfriend her" (the quotations are to the best of my recollection because after unfriending this lady I could not see the post and therefore could not guarantee that I was quoting her correctly).

I thought really hard about that. I could easily block the post. I could easily unfollow. But those two parts, "believing in that woman" and believing that she should voice her opinion, really hit me. If she really does believe in that woman, then she has not learned the empathy and critical thinking skills that I should have taught her. Could I still teach her those things now? Maybe, but I have to stop thinking of those students I had as "girls" or even "young ladies". They are now in their early 30's, many of them married with children and careers. They are living the lives they have chosen, and they are both choosing to disregard the lives that others cannot choose BUT live. And I thought about the statement that Candace Owens deserves to voice her opinion.

Everyone has opinions, and everyone has the right to voice their opinions. Absolutely true.

But opinions are not truths. Opinions are things we form based on our preferences, our experiences, and our biases. My sons don't really like most vegetables. That's true, although they tend to avoid eating vegetables they've never tried before based on their previous experiences with different vegetables. This is problematic, because vegetables are healthy and they need to eat them to be healthy. So their opinion, which is formed based on limited experience, could be harmful to them and is limiting their experiences further.

Some opinions are formed despite significant evidence to the contrary. There are people whose opinions include things like "man hasn't actually landed on the moon" and "the Earth is actually flat". They have these opinions despite the evidence to the contrary. They have those opinions, and those opinions are flat out wrong. The opinion that Black people do not suffer oppression and do not deserve justice is not only flat out wrong, it is harmful and hateful and very much at odds with lots of evidence to the contrary.

So I did not unfriend these ladies because Candace Owens doesn't have a right to say her opinion; I unfriended them because Candace Owens' opinion is wrong and harmful and hateful and they have chosen to buy into that rather than listen to the voices of others. I feel like I have failed these ladies because I should have taught them empathy and critical thinking skills which they seem to now be lacking.

I do not and never will hate these ladies. They are special to my heart. But I needed to do something to let them know my disapproval of their choices and willful ignorance, and maybe my loss of respect for them might make some kind of an impact, since all my words this week apparently have not.