Sad

Did something this morning that made me very sad...I unfriended two of my original students on Facebook.

In all of this chaos over the murder of George Floyd and the subsequent protests and riots, it has been very telling to see who has posted what. Some people have been very vocal in their support the entire movement including the rioting, some have been supportive of Black Lives Matter but still condemn the violence, and some have remained silent. I understand these positions, although the people who choose to remain silent on the subject are enjoying their privilege to do so. I have agreed with some, I have disagreed with others, and I have unfollowed a few.

So the unfriending of these two ladies that I love dearly has struck me in a very particularly deep way. I made my choice to do so because of the voices they were choosing very specifically to amplify. Neither posted anything decrying the murder of George Floyd, and neither posted anything in support of even peaceful protests. Instead, each of them chose to post social media videos and posts from Candance Owens and Terrence K. Williams, two Black people very vocal in their support of President Trump and the Republican party and their lack of support for the struggles of their own people. These posts accuse Black people of living in the past and relying on their race for excuses, and George Floyd of being a criminal who shouldn't have gotten arrested in the first place.

I struggled with the decision--should I simply unfollow them to remain connected to them on social media without seeing what they posted? Should I block all the hateful voices they chose to amplify over the thousands of other voices who are crying out for help and just keep around the "fun" things they post? What finally sealed the deal for me, so to speak, was the way one of the ladies worded her post of Candace Owens (who said she did not support George Floyd). She said something to the effect that she was sad that George Floyd had died and she believed racism was real but that she also "believed in this woman and what she had to say" and that "anyone who thought this woman did not deserve to voice her opinion could unfriend her" (the quotations are to the best of my recollection because after unfriending this lady I could not see the post and therefore could not guarantee that I was quoting her correctly).

I thought really hard about that. I could easily block the post. I could easily unfollow. But those two parts, "believing in that woman" and believing that she should voice her opinion, really hit me. If she really does believe in that woman, then she has not learned the empathy and critical thinking skills that I should have taught her. Could I still teach her those things now? Maybe, but I have to stop thinking of those students I had as "girls" or even "young ladies". They are now in their early 30's, many of them married with children and careers. They are living the lives they have chosen, and they are both choosing to disregard the lives that others cannot choose BUT live. And I thought about the statement that Candace Owens deserves to voice her opinion.

Everyone has opinions, and everyone has the right to voice their opinions. Absolutely true.

But opinions are not truths. Opinions are things we form based on our preferences, our experiences, and our biases. My sons don't really like most vegetables. That's true, although they tend to avoid eating vegetables they've never tried before based on their previous experiences with different vegetables. This is problematic, because vegetables are healthy and they need to eat them to be healthy. So their opinion, which is formed based on limited experience, could be harmful to them and is limiting their experiences further.

Some opinions are formed despite significant evidence to the contrary. There are people whose opinions include things like "man hasn't actually landed on the moon" and "the Earth is actually flat". They have these opinions despite the evidence to the contrary. They have those opinions, and those opinions are flat out wrong. The opinion that Black people do not suffer oppression and do not deserve justice is not only flat out wrong, it is harmful and hateful and very much at odds with lots of evidence to the contrary.

So I did not unfriend these ladies because Candace Owens doesn't have a right to say her opinion; I unfriended them because Candace Owens' opinion is wrong and harmful and hateful and they have chosen to buy into that rather than listen to the voices of others. I feel like I have failed these ladies because I should have taught them empathy and critical thinking skills which they seem to now be lacking.

I do not and never will hate these ladies. They are special to my heart. But I needed to do something to let them know my disapproval of their choices and willful ignorance, and maybe my loss of respect for them might make some kind of an impact, since all my words this week apparently have not.

Where are we going, and why are we in this handbasket?

229.8

Wow, it's been less than a week since my last post, and the world has truly fallen apart. The same day I posted about Christian Cooper, the African American birder in New York who nearly fell victim to a "swat" by a racist white woman in Central Park, our worst fears were realized in the murder of George Floyd, an African American man in Minneapolis who was killed during his arrest for what was believed to be a fake $20 bill (it wasn't). He did not resist. He was cuffed and thrown on the ground, and an officer knelt on the back of his neck. George Floyd begged to be let up, pleading with the officer that he could not breathe, that he was in pain, that they were killing him. He cried for his mother (who died two years ago). And then he died. The officer knelt on his neck for more than eight minutes. Three other officers looked on while it happened. It took four days for the Minneapolis Police Department to arrest the officer--oh, excuse me, "former officer" because they did fire him--for murder. The other three officers were not arrested and did not lose their jobs. And predictably, there have been riots in most major cities around the country as people protest a racist system that serves and protects dirty cops far more than it serves and protects minority populations.

I am angry. I am angry that George Floyd was murdered. I am angry that the only reason we know about it is because someone happened to film it. I am angry that it took four days to arrest the officer and that the other officers, who were very much complicit, still walk free. I am angry at the number of friends I have on social media who "tut tutted" over George Floyd's murder but have spent much more time and many more words decrying the looting that is occurring, despite evidence that the looting is a small portion of the protesting and seems to be mostly committed by outsiders (especially white outsiders). I am angry at my social media friends for saying things like "THEY are being divisive" and "THEY are destroying their message" without understanding that the people saying "THEY" are the ones being divisive by not recognizing that it isn't "their" message, it's "OUR" message.

I want to rage. I want to grab these people and shake them. I want them to understand what it means to be oppressed. I want them to feel a taste, just a taste, of what people of color have experienced in the past 400 years.

And if I'm that mad--a white upper class woman who experiences tremendous privilege--just imagine how actual members of the Black community feel.