Same sh*t, different day

Wow, so it's been almost a year since my last post. Some things have changed: my sons are older, I'm a little fatter and a lot slower. Also, looking back at my last post was pretty hard, since we no longer have Maerlyn. He made it until November (almost fourteen years to the day since we had brought him home from the breeder), but his sight and hearing were almost gone, he'd started to have major problems with peeing and pooping in the house, and he was losing weight. It was incredibly hard to have him put to sleep. Ross and I both went to the vet, but Ross was coming from work and meeting me there, so I made the final trip in the truck alone with Maerlyn. I sobbed the whole way. We petted him and held his paws and told him what a good boy he was, and then it was over. It still hurts. I know he was in pain, but I also know the last few years of his life weren't the best, which makes me sad. I miss him terribly. I'm sure we'll get another dog at some point (probably next summer or the summer after, when the boys are a little older and more likely to treat a puppy carefully--also, Ian is afraid of dogs right now for some reason, so he probably wouldn't be happy if we brought a dog home), but that dog won't be Maerlyn. Sigh. Anyway, on to my other subject: Today's weigh-in (after breakfast): 239.0 So, I did absolutely nothing on the weight-loss front all year. I'm still in the same place I was last summer. Today is the first official day of summer, since yesterday was the last day of school, and although I plan some "bad" eating this weekend (my younger son's second birthday is tomorrow, so I'm working on birthday cake, and we're grilling steaks tonight because my dad is in town) and really don't plan to do anything super healthy this weekend, I figured I'd go ahead and post about my summer goals. We have to report on Monday, August 25 for the opening of the school year (which starts Wednesday the 27th), which gives me 11 weeks to work with. I am taking a writing course for the next three weeks, which means I won't have a lot of time to work out, but I will try to go in the mornings before it starts at 9 each day--I'm still taking the boys to the sitter's at 7 each morning, so I can head to the gym and get maybe an hour workout in before needing to get dressed for my class. The class shouldn't be horrible for my health; although there will be snacks each day, I probably won't eat as much because people will be "watching" and I'll be occupied in the writing assignments, and also, we will be doing some walking around here and there for the class, so I'll get a little exercise in as well. I've also committed to walking a 5k with my mother-in-law over the 4th of July weekend, so I need to get some walking in. My goal for the summer is to lose 15 lbs. If I can lose 1.5 lbs each week, I'll lose 16.5 lbs. If I can manage 2 lbs each week, I'll lose more than 20 for the summer. I've got to at least lose 10 lbs; I can't bear to be so close to 240 lbs. It's horrible. I feel like crap every morning: my feet hurt, my back hurts, my knees have started to bother me a bit (although the squats challenge I did in the month of May might have contributed). I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired. And fat. I'm sick and tired of being fat.