As I sit and consider how I am spending my final day of freedom before the beginning of another school year, I am faced with the realization of a darker side of my personality, one that I do not often share with others. But I feel that it is something that I must admit to, in order to recognize the problem for what it is and deal with it as needed. And the realization is this:

I like reality television.

Oh dear God, I can't believe I just admitted that. But when I look at some of my recent entertainment choices, in the midday hours when more acceptable programming does not exist, I have to face reality. *intentional pun*

As I flip through channels and find little or nothing of value to watch (and I'm taking a break from reading all morning), I gravitate to some of the most depraved shows, namely Project Runway and Workout, both on the Bravo Channel. Fashion isn't even anything that interests me (I'm all about comfort and I dread the possibility that someday one of my students will submit me to What Not to Wear) and, while I am interested in working out, Work Out seems to be more about the trials and tribulations of the trainers with each other and the difficulties the owner experiences in her relationship with her girlfriend. So why did I sit and watch three or four episodes of each show yesterday?

Examining other television shows I watch regularly, I see a disturbing pattern. Oh, not all of my favorite shows are of the reality genre, thankfully--I love 24, My Name is Earl, and of course my SciFi trilogy of Stargate SG-1, Stargate: Atlantis, and Battlestar Galactica--but I can't help but notice how many reality shows I like to watch. During the normal television season, we (I'm implicating my husband here as well) watch The Amazing Race and The Biggest Loser (that show is actually one of the inspirations for our weight loss project over the past ten months). In the past few weeks we've gotten interested in MTV2'sFinal Fu, a martial arts competition. We've also watched American Inventor, America's Got talent, and Who wants to Be a Superhero, which is like a ComicCon gone horribly awry. And, God help me, when I have the opportunity I still check in on MTV's Real World/Road Rules Challenge shows like the current Fresh Meat to see which past cast members are still publicly humiliating themselves.

Now, I don't like the reality shows that are along the Survivor vein. I have tried and am not interested in Survivor, Big Brother, and other shows where the contestants make and break alliances and try to lie, cheat, and steal whatever they must to achieve victory. NOTE: And yet we loved Celebrity Mole, where the whole point was to lie, cheat, and do what needed to be done to throw others off the scent while figuring out the truth before everyone else did.

I've pinpointed where my affection for reality television began, and it has a lot to do with sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll. In other words, MTV's The Real World. As a child of the 1980's, I grew up with MTV, and the first season of The Real World came on my senior year of high school (oh, I just showed my age. Crap.). Remember when MTV showed more videos than shows? Anyway, I was fascinated with the show. I mean, wow, what would happen if you took seven strangers and had them all live in a house together? This was back when the concept was new enough to be innovative and honest enough to be interesting. They didn't select the beautiful people just to see who would sleep with whom in the house. Instead, they picked people from different backgrounds and different lifestyles to see a mini sociology experiment in action. Take Julie, white, young, naive, from the South, and put her in an environment with a very political Kevin, black, from the city, and watch the sparks fly. Take Jon, a cowboy singer, from the South, and have him live in a decadent Southern Califonia environment. Take Puck, an obnoxious, non-hygenic bike messenger, and have him live with, well, anybody. I LOVED the show. I watched the first four seasons religiously. I loved Road Rules too. Same concept, smaller venue (have them all live in a Winnebago!), and throw in some physical challenges and interesting global locations. Cool! I fantasized about being a cast member on the show.

But then MTV started to change the formula a bit. They stopped looking for people who would disagree and cause sparks in the house, and started looking for sparks of a different kind. It seems like the casts of more recent Real World seasons have been all about sex. All they do is sleep with each other. I've stopped watching new seasons of The Real World, but I still love the Challenge shows where they bring a lot of the old cast members from both shows back for more fun. Some of the cast members have gotten a bit old for the silliness, but some still come back for more (I'm crushed, by the way, that Coral and her teammate Evan had to leave the current Fresh Meat show due to injuries. Coral is a bitch from way back, and super-fun to watch in action).

Even though I no longer watch all the MTV reality shows, the seed was sown, and I have quite a list. In no particular order, here are some of the reality-type shows, either competition game shows, or following people in the course of their lives/jobs, that I have enjoyed;

The Amazing Race: I would love to go around the world and see the places these people have gone. The challenges are fun because they have some cultural connection to the location in which they take place.

The Biggest Loser: Severely obese people are taught by trainers about exercise and nutrition, put through a boot camp over the course of several weeks, and then turned loose in the real world to see if they can continue the weight loss. After watching the show, my husband and I realized that we could do the same "eat less and exercise" plan that the contestants used on the show.

Final Fu: Thirty martial artists of various disciplines complete challenges that demonstrate their strength, endurance, speed, and flexibility, and spar against their competitors. It's hosted by Ernie Reyes, Jr., and he's amazing. I would love to do some form of martial arts, but if someone ever hit me, I'd cry.

Celebrity Mole: One person on the show is the mole, and is sabotaging challenges occasionally. The other people on the show are trying to figure out which person is the mole, and trying to throw the others off the mole's trail so they don't figure out the real mole. It's hysterical, and it is fun to see at the end of the show if your guess is the correct one.

The Real World: Wouldn't you love to live in the houses that MTV has provided over the years for this show? I mean, damn. When they had the San Diego season a few years ago, there's no telling how much MTV had to pay for that big-a$$ house on the waterfront. I mean, San Diego is the most expensive housing market in the country.

Road Rules: Basically, it's The Real World on the road. They travel in an RV to various locations and compete in physical (and occasionally mental) challenges. Again, cool locations, fun events, beautiful people...where can you go wrong?

any of the Real World/Road Rules Challenge shows. The best of both worlds, baby!

Extreme Makeover: Home Edition: How cool is this show, really? Answer: way cool. They take the home of someone who desperately needs help and is incredibly deserving, and they literally create a miracle in a week. If you want a good, warm, fuzzy feeling (and a good cry)you should watch this show.

Surf Girls: Another MTV show, that was only on for one season. They took a bunch of girls who could surf, and they competed against each other in surfing (and other things, but to their credit mostly surfing) to see who was the best. The best short boarder got an affiliation with Quicksilver (I think, it's been several years since it was on) and the best long boarder got to go on The Crossing (a big surf trip out in the middle of the ocean where they look for monster waves).

American Chopper: Not a competition, but a very entertaining show following the Teutel family who run Orange County Choppers. They make awesome theme bikes (the fire bike still gives me chills), and if you think your family is dysfunctional you should check these people out.

Monster Garage: Sort of a competition, where Jesse James and a team of mechanically inclined people take a perfectly good vehicle and do something ridiculous to it. Who could forget the funny car/hot dog cart? Or the Mustang/lawnmower?

Queer Eye for the Straight Guy: Come on, how can you not love this show? They are freakin' great. I think some of their behavior is a bit over-the-top, but they really do seem to clean these straight victims up. Even my husband has started using product on his hair and zhuzhing (is there even a right way to spell that?) it.

Boy Meets Boy: I hate the dating shows; I think they are pretty silly. I really don't think you can find true love on one of those shows, but the plot twist that they threw in (several of the men this guy was meeting and going on dates with were straight and he didn't know it) was (sad to say) too good to pass up. I mean, what a mean trick. But he took the revelation well.

Ghost Hunters: I don't know if you've ever seen this show, but it is a group of paranormal investigators who go to supposedly haunted locations to debunk or prove the hauntings. Most of what they find is inconclusive, but every once in a while they'll find something reeeeeally freaky. The episode in the lighthouse where you hear a woman's voice saying "Help me" when there are no women present and where you see on the video the shadow of something moving on the circular stairs is CREEPY. I feel like the cowardly lion: "I do, I do, I DO believe in spooks!"

Fear Factor: You know the saying, "Everyone has a price"? Well, for the people on this show, it's $50K. I mean, would you eat pig rectum for $50K? I'm not sure I could. I have a delicate gag reflex.

And probably the greatest one we've ever watched, The Joe Schmoe Show. This was like the anti-reality show. An "everyman" of sorts was selected in a casting call to be on a reality competition. But what he wasn't told was that he was the only contestant. All the rest of his "housemates" were actors and actresses playing the standard reality show stereotypes: the a$$hole, the bitch, the virgin, the buddy, the gay guy, the military nut, etc. Basically, the guy was guaranteed money; it was more about how long they could carry on the joke. It really was kind of mean; the guy became pretty good friends with some of the people, and he was genuinely hurt when he found out they were actors. Even the cast members questioned the joke; on several occasions when he did something really nice for someone else they would talk to each other "off camera" about how terrible they felt and how they wanted to tell him the truth because he was such a nice guy. As mean as it seemed, it was fun to watch because he was truly a nice person, he deserved the money, the reality show caricatures were spot-on, and you just couldn't believe the things he'd go along with. I mean, a competition to see who could keep their hand on a stripper the longest?

Anyway, it has been a long spiral into the pit of entertainment despair. But I'm not ashamed to admit that I like reality television. Maybe someday someone will create a reality show for people to admit their darkest secrets, addictions, and horrifying revelations.

Oh, wait, that's The Jerry Springer Show.