Cool cool cool

 256.6

Wow. I skipped right over 257 and went for a pound and a half loss yesterday. I suspect some of that might be hydration, so I don't want to lean too hard on that big a loss. 

But I didn't really eat much yesterday. I had coffee and toast for breakfast, and then we hit the road at lunch to drive to Bozeman to look at a truck (didn't end up buying anything) and just grabbed a double cheeseburger and diet Coke at McDonald's. No snacking because we were at a car dealership, and then at dinner I ordered fish tacos that turned out to be one big piece of fish in each taco, so I only ate one and about 2/3 if the other. I also only had a couple of bites of rice and beans (it probably also helped that the whole thing seemed underseasoned and a little disappointing). When we got home I had a sugar free pudding cup. 

The biggest thing yesterday, though, is that I exercised*fanfare*. The dog wanted to go for get daily walk when we got home, and since it was getting dark (close to 8 pm), I didn't want to walk far. We only went party of the way through our usual distance, but I jogged some of it. Now, my jogging is certainly not impressive, and I didn't do very many steps at a time, but I did indeed increase my heart rate, su that counts. I just need to keep trying that. I think it will help. I have to be careful if what it does to my knees and feet, though. I have plantar fasciitis, although that hasn't flared up in a while, and in these last twenty pounds or so my knees have started to bother me some. Ask the more reason to get the weight off. 

Hopefully I can show another loss tomorrow and not bounce back up.

Whew

 258.5

Well, I'm back down to the weight I was three days ago, so that's a relief. I was anxious. 

Yesterday, I felt the desire to snack. To graze. To eat because it sounded like a good idea, rather than because I was hungry. I avoided it, but I easily could've started and not stopped. 

I'm really hoping that the next dose, I'll start noticing a difference in the desire to eat. 

I was thinking about the feeling of fullness. I do think I'm noticing that I feel full sooner in the eating process. But one thing that never occurred to me is that I've always associated that feeling of fullness with comfort rather than discomfort. It has always felt good to be full, satisfying, pleasant, even when I've eaten until I'm "stuffed". I need to feel those sensations before I reach the fullness stage, or make that fullness stage happen sooner. 

I start school this Wednesday, so I won't really have the opportunity to snack. But I need to plan my lunches so I don't overeat. I need to make sure I'm getting my protein. Fingers crossed that I continue to lose this week.

Shot #4

 259.4

I would like to say I'm safely below 260, never to see the land alive that again, but I've gained back about a pound the past two days from 258.5 three days ago. 

My husband reminded me that my hydration level can play a part in those weigh-ins so I shouldn't worry too much, but the fact that I can't celebrate a 10-lb loss in my first three weeks is a bit disappointing. 

I'm not sure what to attribute Friday's half pound increase to, but I think I can see what got me yesterday. 

First, I went to lunch with a friend, and while I felt like I ordered reasonably (a lunch special of a half sandwich and small cup of soup), I felt weird about not finishing my meal when I probably could've stopped eating before that, and also, she ordered an appetizer for us to share, and I felt guilty about not eating it. I don't know that I ate half of it, but I ate more than I needed to.

Then, I snacked in the afternoon. I had gotten a small grocery order, and one of the items was a rotisserie chicken that I was going to break down, either for dinner that night or later on the weekend. I absolutely love freshly cooked chicken, so I did sneak several bites while I worked. 

Dinner, I think, was probably my best effort. We went to Olive Garden, which is definitely a place where I can overeat easily. I love pasta and bread, two things you can get in large quantities there. My family can go through several baskets of bread sticks at Olive Garden, and they did, but I ate just one bread stick myself. When the vat of salad came, I selected several pieces of lettuce and a few slices to tomato from the bowl, and that's all I had. I felt a bit guilty about that because that bowl of salad is so big, and most of it went uneaten. When I ordered, I chose the item from their "lighter plates" section with the fewest calories, a plate of six raviolis with marinara, and I even left one on my plate. 

Anyway, the fact that I had a half pound increase when I weighed in this morning was somewhat disheartening. But I can see those places that need work. I'm still a social eater when I feel the pressure to participate in a social situation, and I'm a snacker in the kitchen. I took my final dosage at the lowest strength of my medication last night, so I'll be curious to see if I notice a difference in the "food noise" aspect wheni stay taking a stronger dose. 

I also did not do any official exercise this week, despite what I had initially planned. Teachers officially reported for our week of in-service on Wednesday, so I've been at school the past there days working on my classroom and sitting in meetings. I've been a little more active maybe, but I've gone to school many days the past few weeks in order to clean up and redecorate, so it's probably not a big increase in activity level. I have two more days of in-service this coming week, and then we start school Wednesday. I'm not sure if I'll try to hit the gym this week or not. We'll see. 

Anyway, it's nice to see the 5 in the middle of the scale instead of the 6, but I don't know that the 5 is safe just yet. I probably won't feel safe about it until I'm in the lower half of that range. 

Unexpected

 259.7

I'll be honest: I didn't see this weight coming today. 

My husband and I went out to dinner last night as a late anniversary date night (our 27th anniversary was this past Friday). We went to a nice Mexican restaurant in town. 

Restaurants have always posed a challenge for me. I don't like bringing food home from restaurants. I'm not much of a leftovers person anyway--things rarely taste as good reheated as they did the first time, and I knew I had leftovers in the fridge from our camping trip. I was raised as a "clean your plate" kid, so leaving food behind if I'm not going to finish it also has a psychological effect. There's also something satisfying about leaving a restaurant stuffed. It makes me feel like I've gotten my money's worth. And the free chips and salsa at Mexican restaurants are a problem because they're so mindless: you sit there and shovel them into your mouth, one after the other, as you look through the menu, and if you run out, they'll bring you more. By the time they bring you your actual meal, you've eaten 300+ calories worth of chips and salsa that your brain doesn't even register.

I deliberately stopped myself as I munched through the chips. I think my husband might have noticed, because he stopped too, and we left about half a basket of chips uneaten on the table. But this was a very conscious decision on my part: I easily could've continued eating. I WANTED to, in fact. 

Then there was the meal itself. I tried to choose something that seemed like it wasn't going to be a giant portion: a combo plate of a taco, a burrito, beans, and rice. Again, I made a conscious decision to stop partway through, although I did feel myself filling up a bit. I tried to eat more slowly, pausing between bites to talk to my husband, look around the room, etc. I ended up only eating a couple of bites of the beans and rice, leaving most of that untouched, and I ate maybe 2/3-3/4 of the burrito and left at least one bite of taco behind. That felt especially weird; like, who doesn't eat a whole taco? 

But I easily could've eaten it all. I know I could've; I strongly considered it. When the waiter asked if I wanted a small box, I said no, because there wasn't enough of the burrito and taco for me to really feel like a meal, and while I love beans and rice, it's not the same when you reheat them. 

I did feel full afterward, but I don't know that it was a strong enough feeling right away to have created an "oh my gosh I can't finish this" feeling in me. 

So while I did think that I had done a pretty good job keeping myself from overdoing it, I still really figured that I wouldn't see a loss on the scale this morning. I figured I'd still be in the 260 range. And now that I'm thinking about it, that was a whole .6 down from yesterday, more than half a pound. Definitely unexpected. 

I'm left wondering, of course, the same things I mentioned yesterday. Is my willpower truly my own? I really felt like eating more. I almost did. But I ultimately did not. Did the medication help me make that decision? I don't know.  I have one more dose at this lowest strength and then it'll up itself the next time, so I'll definitely be waiting to compare that with how things have gone this month.

The week after we came back from our vacation, prior to my taking my first shot, I actually gained a couple of pounds. That first morning after I'd taken my shot, I was at 268.9.  Two weeks and a couple of days later, I'm down about 9 lbs from that. I don't know if that's a reasonable weight loss, something to expect for a while, or if it's going to vary significantly. I'm sure it will vary some. But man, if I could keep this up for the duration of the shots I have (through the end of October) I will have lost close to forty pounds by my birthday, and that would be so amazing. And if I could keep it up past that, I could potentially be close to 200 lbs by the time we go skiing in March, and that would be incredible. 

I need to add in physical activity; that's next on my list.

Progress

 260.3

I was camping all weekend, so I had to take my shot with me. I bought a little case to keep my supplies in the regular fridge and then a smaller cooler pouch I could take with me and keep in the fridge in the trailer. 

I was really curious as to how the weekend would go. Some people's camping trips focus on hiking or hunting or kayaking. Our trips these days tend to focus on food. 

What are we eating for breakfast each day? How many lunches do we need to prep for? What do we want for dinner each night? Are we making desserts? Do we have s'mores supplies? 

Also, I find food on camping trips tends to be a comfort thing. It tastes better outside, I swear. I've always gone back for seconds. I've always had desserts. So I really didn't know what to expect. 

I didn't overdo it when I thought I would. One serving, not a big serving, and that was it. I felt overly full after lunch one day, even though I didn't feel like I consumed as much as I previously might have. 

I've wondered several times with my limiting my portion sizes and stopping myself after just one serving: is my will power my own? Is it bolstered by the medication? Or am I making better choices because it's on my mind? 

I don't really know the answer to that. But I'm relieved to see myself closing in on a milestone. I certainly never thought I'd weigh more than 260 lbs at any point in my life. I'm really hoping that if I cross back over that line this week, that will be the last time I see those numbers. I'm two weeks and three shots in, and I am seeing improvement on the scale. I now need to stay adding in movement. My fitness can't just be tied to my weight. So I need to figure out to ways to get my stamina up.

Oopsie

 265.8

I took my second shot today. As I prepared to do so, I realized I made a mistake last week and only gave myself half of the dosage that I should have. 

Oopsie.

Allow me to explain how I managed to be stupid. When I got my shipment of medication, I noted a lack of comprehensive instructions. There were three packets, each containing a 2 mL vial of medication, several syringes, and alcohol wipes. Each packet was labeled with the prescription info, the medication strength, and the weeks it was to be administered: 1-4, 5-8, 9-12. There was also a card with instructions about how to give yourself a shot. 

What it didn't contain was how much medication to put into each syringe. They were all 1 mL syringes; each vial was 2 mL. I saw on each label that the information about the medication was slightly different. The first week's vial said .25 of a particular medication, the second said .5, and the third said 1. I knew o was supposed to be starting with the lighter dosage and then stepping up over the course of twelve weeks.

So, I figured I had to fill the syringe to .25 mL for my first doses. So that's what I did last week. 

But today, since it was about time for my next dose, I went ahead and got out all the materials out. I had bought myself a storage case and a travel case that I can use to keep the stuff in while in the fridge to keep everything cool. 

As I looked everything over, I started thinking. If I truly only needed .25 each dose from the first vial, that would only use up half the vial. But the vial was packaged for weeks 1-4. If the second set of doses was .5, that would use up the second vial. But then if the third set was 1 each, but the vial only had 2 mL, I'd be short some medication.

I then really thought about each vial. If each vial truly had four doses, that meant they had to be .5 mL each. Then I realized it wasn't the amount of liquid that was stepping up but rather the strength of the medication in the liquid. The .25, .5, and 1 referred to the strength of the compounded medications, not the size. 

🤦‍♀️ 

They really should've included that in the instructions. 

Anyway, I gave myself a shot that was .5 mL of the medication in vial #1. I should have plenty left for the next two doses before I step up to the next vial. 

I really am smart; I swear.

Day 2

 268.8

I *might* have experienced my first side effects this morning? I felt...off. Not quite nauseous or anything like that, but just a little...squicky. I had a little bit of a headache, too. That could be because I didn't drink enough water. It could also be that I ate too much and/or too late--my husband made sourdough bread and I had a couple of pieces after 8:30 pm, well after the time I should stop eating for the day. 

Anyway, the feeling went away, so I'll just have to be aware of how I'm feeling the next few days. My friends who have taken weight loss medication have indicated that the side effects they noticed didn't show up until a couple days after the shot.

I haven't given much thought to meal planning yet. I guess that's going to be the next step in the process, and then figuring out how to get more active.

Still driving that river, six years later

 268.9 

Wow, time flies when life happens, it something like that. 

Anyway, I'm coming back to this blog after stuff years to address something I talked about years ago: weight loss. 

As you can see if you refer back to previous posts, you can see that I've gained about 50 lbs over the past six years. There are many reasons for this, one of the most significant being perimenopause. 

But I'm trying to take action to improve my health and well-being, and I want to use this blog to document my efforts. 

Last night, I took my first shot of a compounded semaglutide. I'm starting at .25 ml for each of the first four weeks and then increasing the dosage. 

I took this expensive step (my insurance, sadly, will not cover this) because I'm at a loss (haha) at to how to lose weight. My metabolism has slowed to a crawl (although my desire to eat has not), and I'm so terribly tired and achy that I have zero motivation to work out. 

What sealed the deal was something that happened in my vacation. We were in Seattle and had gone to Pike Place Market. My teenage sons led us down towards the water to a pier where we took pictures and played large-scale chess. When we climbed back up the many, many stairs, I struggled mightily. I had to pause every five or six stairs to take a break. I was sweaty, miserable, and completely exhausted by the time we got up the stairs, up the hill, and back to the parked car. When we got to our next sightseeing location--a car collection--I opted to stay behind and sit out the tour. The realization that I couldn't keep up with my family was sobering and saddening. 

I have several friends taking various weight loss medications. A coworker had looked at some of the non-insurance options, so I had a little research going in. I looked at a few possibilities and found that many of them included subscriptions to apps or programs that doubled the cost. I settled on TrimRx because it didn't include the extra cost of the program, just the medication itself. 

I received my first shipment, containing the dosages for weeks 1-4, 5-8, and 9-12. It also contained syringes and prep pads since these aren't preloaded doses. 

I had to look up instructions on their website for how to prepare and administer each dose. It's a little daunting to do it on my own with little guidance, so I'm hoping I did it right. It was also a little tricky because all the printing, numbers, and lines on the bottle and syringe are tiny and my near vision is not what it once was.

I decided to do my weekly dose on Friday evenings. My thinking was that if I had some kind of adverse reaction the first time, my husband would be here (he leaves this Sunday for a week out of town for work), and also if I suffered some side effects from the medication like nausea, I would have an immediate nighttime of sleep and a whole weekend before I had to interact with people.

I think I administered my shot correctly, but it was difficult to see past my boobs. I should probably have done it in the bathroom where I could see in a mirror rather than in my kitchen, but the kitchen has counter space and is closer to the fridge that I'm keeping the medication in. 

The only initial reaction I noticed was a mild stinging sensation around the injection site a few minutes after the shot, lasting about ten minutes. According to what I've read, that's likely because the medication is cold. 

So, it's been more than twelve hours now since my shot. I haven't really noticed anything yet. So far I've had my morning cup of coffee, a bowl of fruit and yogurt, and a few slices of cheese. We'll see what the rest of the day brings.

Sad

Did something this morning that made me very sad...I unfriended two of my original students on Facebook.

In all of this chaos over the murder of George Floyd and the subsequent protests and riots, it has been very telling to see who has posted what. Some people have been very vocal in their support the entire movement including the rioting, some have been supportive of Black Lives Matter but still condemn the violence, and some have remained silent. I understand these positions, although the people who choose to remain silent on the subject are enjoying their privilege to do so. I have agreed with some, I have disagreed with others, and I have unfollowed a few.

So the unfriending of these two ladies that I love dearly has struck me in a very particularly deep way. I made my choice to do so because of the voices they were choosing very specifically to amplify. Neither posted anything decrying the murder of George Floyd, and neither posted anything in support of even peaceful protests. Instead, each of them chose to post social media videos and posts from Candance Owens and Terrence K. Williams, two Black people very vocal in their support of President Trump and the Republican party and their lack of support for the struggles of their own people. These posts accuse Black people of living in the past and relying on their race for excuses, and George Floyd of being a criminal who shouldn't have gotten arrested in the first place.

I struggled with the decision--should I simply unfollow them to remain connected to them on social media without seeing what they posted? Should I block all the hateful voices they chose to amplify over the thousands of other voices who are crying out for help and just keep around the "fun" things they post? What finally sealed the deal for me, so to speak, was the way one of the ladies worded her post of Candace Owens (who said she did not support George Floyd). She said something to the effect that she was sad that George Floyd had died and she believed racism was real but that she also "believed in this woman and what she had to say" and that "anyone who thought this woman did not deserve to voice her opinion could unfriend her" (the quotations are to the best of my recollection because after unfriending this lady I could not see the post and therefore could not guarantee that I was quoting her correctly).

I thought really hard about that. I could easily block the post. I could easily unfollow. But those two parts, "believing in that woman" and believing that she should voice her opinion, really hit me. If she really does believe in that woman, then she has not learned the empathy and critical thinking skills that I should have taught her. Could I still teach her those things now? Maybe, but I have to stop thinking of those students I had as "girls" or even "young ladies". They are now in their early 30's, many of them married with children and careers. They are living the lives they have chosen, and they are both choosing to disregard the lives that others cannot choose BUT live. And I thought about the statement that Candace Owens deserves to voice her opinion.

Everyone has opinions, and everyone has the right to voice their opinions. Absolutely true.

But opinions are not truths. Opinions are things we form based on our preferences, our experiences, and our biases. My sons don't really like most vegetables. That's true, although they tend to avoid eating vegetables they've never tried before based on their previous experiences with different vegetables. This is problematic, because vegetables are healthy and they need to eat them to be healthy. So their opinion, which is formed based on limited experience, could be harmful to them and is limiting their experiences further.

Some opinions are formed despite significant evidence to the contrary. There are people whose opinions include things like "man hasn't actually landed on the moon" and "the Earth is actually flat". They have these opinions despite the evidence to the contrary. They have those opinions, and those opinions are flat out wrong. The opinion that Black people do not suffer oppression and do not deserve justice is not only flat out wrong, it is harmful and hateful and very much at odds with lots of evidence to the contrary.

So I did not unfriend these ladies because Candace Owens doesn't have a right to say her opinion; I unfriended them because Candace Owens' opinion is wrong and harmful and hateful and they have chosen to buy into that rather than listen to the voices of others. I feel like I have failed these ladies because I should have taught them empathy and critical thinking skills which they seem to now be lacking.

I do not and never will hate these ladies. They are special to my heart. But I needed to do something to let them know my disapproval of their choices and willful ignorance, and maybe my loss of respect for them might make some kind of an impact, since all my words this week apparently have not.

Where are we going, and why are we in this handbasket?

229.8

Wow, it's been less than a week since my last post, and the world has truly fallen apart. The same day I posted about Christian Cooper, the African American birder in New York who nearly fell victim to a "swat" by a racist white woman in Central Park, our worst fears were realized in the murder of George Floyd, an African American man in Minneapolis who was killed during his arrest for what was believed to be a fake $20 bill (it wasn't). He did not resist. He was cuffed and thrown on the ground, and an officer knelt on the back of his neck. George Floyd begged to be let up, pleading with the officer that he could not breathe, that he was in pain, that they were killing him. He cried for his mother (who died two years ago). And then he died. The officer knelt on his neck for more than eight minutes. Three other officers looked on while it happened. It took four days for the Minneapolis Police Department to arrest the officer--oh, excuse me, "former officer" because they did fire him--for murder. The other three officers were not arrested and did not lose their jobs. And predictably, there have been riots in most major cities around the country as people protest a racist system that serves and protects dirty cops far more than it serves and protects minority populations.

I am angry. I am angry that George Floyd was murdered. I am angry that the only reason we know about it is because someone happened to film it. I am angry that it took four days to arrest the officer and that the other officers, who were very much complicit, still walk free. I am angry at the number of friends I have on social media who "tut tutted" over George Floyd's murder but have spent much more time and many more words decrying the looting that is occurring, despite evidence that the looting is a small portion of the protesting and seems to be mostly committed by outsiders (especially white outsiders). I am angry at my social media friends for saying things like "THEY are being divisive" and "THEY are destroying their message" without understanding that the people saying "THEY" are the ones being divisive by not recognizing that it isn't "their" message, it's "OUR" message.

I want to rage. I want to grab these people and shake them. I want them to understand what it means to be oppressed. I want them to feel a taste, just a taste, of what people of color have experienced in the past 400 years.

And if I'm that mad--a white upper class woman who experiences tremendous privilege--just imagine how actual members of the Black community feel.

Public Shaming, Doxxing, Racism, Dog Abuse, Attempted Murder...what a day it's been

5/26/20

Oof. I initially thought I would make this into a thread and post it on Twitter, but as a member of the problematic demographic in this situation (privileged white women), I should probably sit this one out on social media.

So. A black man in New York City was enjoying Central Park and was in an area called the Ramble, which is for wildlife and bird watching. There is a leash law in effect in that area. He came across a white woman who was exercising her cocker spaniel off leash. He asked her to leash her dog in accordance with the leash law, and she refused, saying her dog needed to be exercised. He asked her to take the dog to a different part of the park where she could run the dog off leash, and again she refused, saying it was "dangerous". At this point, the man wisely started filming the encounter with his cell phone. She became aggressive with him, approaching him and wagging her finger in his face, telling him to stop filming. He maintained his calm the entire time, even when she then pulled out her own phone and informed him that she was going to call the police and tell them that an African American man was threatening her life. She proceeded to actually make the call and intentionally changed her voice to make herself sound distressed, telling the 911 operator that she was being threatened by an African American man in the park. [The entire time this is going on, she has her dog by the collar and is lifting the dog off the ground by the neck. The dog is choking and struggling.] After her call, the man, who remained calm the entire time, thanked her for finally putting the leash on the dog and walked away. He posted the video to social media, and it was then shared by his sister. The video went viral, and the story was widely shared on multiple platforms. Eventually, it reached someone who could identify her, a young man who said he had been a dog walker for her. He identified her by name, and the internet took over. They found her FB and Instagram accounts, the rescue where she had gotten the dog, her Linkedin account, and of course her employer. People implored the rescue to reclaim the dog (she voluntarily surrendered the dog to them). People demanded she be fired (her employer has put her on administrative leave while they investigate). People want her to be arrested (which hasn't happened yet). She did put out a weak apology, saying that she was afraid, that he shouted at her (there isn't any evidence to support that), and that she now realizes that she is in a privileged group that can rely on the police for protection but that there are groups that cannot rely on the same thing (African Americans).

All of this, of course, comes on the heels of the public murder of Ahmaud Arbery, a black man jogging in a neighborhood outside Brunswick, Georgia, and a host of other shooting deaths by police of unarmed African Americans, like the recent shooting of paramedic Breonna Taylor by police who entered her apartment looking for a suspect who was actually already in police custody and hadn't been anywhere near there...I could go on.

The responses on social media have been vast and varied. Dog Twitter was appalled at her treatment of her dog. In searching for information about this woman, they found a surprising number of posts she made about dramatic and dangerous things that happened to the dog, leading some to wonder if it might be a situation of Munchausen by proxy involving her dog. Birding Twitter used the situation as an example of people misusing wild spaces and related their own encounters with unleashed dogs and privileged idiots. There were plenty of apologists who agreed that the woman had done a terrible thing but that they could understand her behavior *to an extent* because they believed that she really thought she was in danger. And an unsurprising number (I guess) of people were distressed at the fact that this woman had been "doxxed" (had personal identifying information posted publicly for the purpose of harassment) and that she did not deserve to have her life ruined.

There are many examples of situations where this kind of public shaming has gotten out of control. I am familiar with the issue because I actually use it in my classroom--Justine Sacco, and Jon Ronson's book So You've Been Publicly Shamed; various United Airlines debacles, including the doctor dragged off the UA flight in 2017; Dani Mathers, the model who took a photo of an older woman in a locker room at a gym and posted it to Snapchat; trophy hunters like Walter Palmer and Rebecca Francis; and even some local incidents in my town. I pose the questions to my students to think about: can public shaming be justifiable? Are there times that it is beneficial? How can we keep it from becoming an out-of-control situation?

So I found myself very interested in this incident, mainly because of those last two groups of people. This woman has been labeled "Central Park Karen," yet another white woman employing her privilege at the expense of another, a person of color. The apologists chuckle a little uncomfortably at the nickname, agree that the woman was out of line to call the cops, but then justify her behavior *to an extent* by pointing out that she is a woman alone in a wooded area and is confronted by a man. And I get it; I do. I am a woman. I have been alone before and had men come up and talk to me. I was uncomfortable. I could have been in danger. But you know what I didn't do? I didn't call the cops on someone who didn't deserve it. He wasn't threatening her. He asked her to put her dog on a leash and reminded her that she was breaking the rules. And her response was to get pissy with him and get in his face. He was justified in filming her, for his own self defense, just like cops wearing body cameras do it for the safety of themselves and the safety of others. Because if there was no record of it happening, honestly, WHO would believe the word of a black man over a white woman? Sure, it's been 60 years since To Kill A Mockingbird was written and 85 years since its events would have taken place, but the world sadly has not changed all that much. We are very, very concerned with believing all victims, which is good, but we cannot forget that there should also be a policy of innocent until proven guilty, and that policy is forgotten when it involves people of color over and over again. She used her privilege to call the cops on him, because she was pissed that he wanted her to obey the leash law. And yes, she knew what she was doing. She was not terrified when she interacted with him; she was firm and strong with him. She did not affect fear in her voice until she was on the phone to the 911 operator, and that was intentional. She was not afraid of him; she was MAD. She pretended to be afraid on the phone to make them believe her, not him. I can also tell this because of her word choice. When she warned the man that she was going to call the police, she didn't say, "I'm going to call the police and tell them you threatened me" (which would have been a lie anyway). She said, "I'm going to tell them there's AN AFRICAN AMERICAN MAN threatening my life." You CANNOT tell me that she is unaware that those are loaded words to a police dispatcher. You CANNOT tell me that she doesn't know that the police will come with guns drawn. She was the one breaking the law, yet she sicced the cops on a black man because she was mad that he had the audacity to call her on it. Do you understand what she did? It's not that different from the bad guy in a movie who has been disarmed by the good guy and is being held at gunpoint shouting at the cops when they finally show up, "He's trying to kill me!" and the cops jump on the good guy and the bad guy gets away. Except guess what? This hero is black, and the cops just shoot him instead. SHE THREATENED HIS LIFE. She could get him killed, AND SHE DOES NOT FUCKING CARE.

And that's where I address the second group, the ones who think she didn't deserve to be doxxed. After all, she was just breaking a leash law, right? WRONG. Attempted murder is a crime. She tried to get this guy killed. I absolutely believe that to be true. She knew the cops would come after him, she intentionally changed her voice on the phone to guarantee it, and she did not care if he got shot in the process. Because he dared to call her out. A black man dared to call out a white woman who was breaking the law, and she could have gotten him killed. Remember that line in Of Mice and Men, when Curley's wife tells Crooks, the black stable buck, "I could get you strung up on a tree so easy it ain't even funny." She knows exactly what power she holds, and she wields it against a black man with ferocity. She's not just a Karen asking to speak to a manager. She's Mayella Ewell, willing to sacrifice a black man to cover up her own crime. She's Curley's wife, punishing a black man for telling her she was somewhere she shouldn't be. So, while I agree that public shaming and doxxing very often get out of hand and can put innocent people in danger, this time, I think it's justified. I think this woman deserves to be shamed. I think she deserves to lose her dog. I think she deserves to lose her job. Because I think she is a dog abuser and a racist who tried to get a black man killed. And I think she knows it.

Life During The Apocalypse: Day Whatever.

It's more than just being tired of being stuck in the house. It's more than just missing my students. It's more than just frustration that not all of my students are turning in work or are even able to turn work in. It's more than annoyance at having to ride herd on my own kids to get their school work done each day. It's more than just ennui that keeps me from getting my grading done. It's more than severe disgust in my fellow human beings who put their own needs above those of others. It's more than just the uncertainty that surrounds my school year. It's more than just the endless ugliness from people on social media. It's more than just the ten + pounds I've gained in the five weeks we've been home. It's more than just wanting answers about how I'm going to assess and give grades to students who have been working under less than ideal conditions for half their semester. It's more than just trying to figure out what might happen if we go back to school and endanger our families and friends. It's more than just worrying about my health and the health of my family. It's more than just a need to eat food that I haven't cooked myself. It's more than wanting to send my kids out to play with their friends for their sake and for mine. It's more than wishing spring would solidify itself with nicer weather because I'm tired of snow.

It's more.

Teaching during the apocalypse: I am NOT a home school parent.

Oh my Lord in heaven, today has been a challenge, and it's only noon.

Today is the first day that my kids have really struggled to get assignments completed, and they have really pushed back against me when I've tried to encourage them. There have been multiple complaints about how much work they're having to do. They are grumpy, and I'm really frustrated with their lack of motivation.

And I realized why they are hitting the wall today, finally: their teachers have sorted out how to do at least some of their instruction online, so they are starting to post all of their regular daily work instead of just a handful of review assignments. The kids couldn't understand why they had so much to do, and I had to explain that this is different than just having homework to do, or having assignments that they missed because we went on vacation. This is school. At home.

I never wanted to be a home school parent. Kids do not by nature take instruction well from their parents. And for most of us parents, it's been a while since we've had to do the types of assignments our kids are doing. I'm lucky, since my kids are in lower grades, because I still know how to do the work they need. But I'm sure there are parents out there who feel a little like Mr. Incredible in The Incredibles 2, trying to help Dash with his math.

I chuckled a bit last week at parents who were posting elaborate schedules for their kids to follow each day, and at other parents who were making jokes about their kids going feral. But now, this week, I'm starting to look at both ends of that spectrum and trying to find a happy medium between them. I don't know that I have the endurance and intestinal fortitude to force my kids to follow a rigid schedule, because I don't have the time to ride herd on them all day long and still get my own school work done. But I also refuse to just let them spend the day on their tablets or video games. So I need to figure out how to strike a balance between the two, both for the benefit of my kids' education and the maintenance of my own sanity.

Teaching During the Apocalypse: Week 2 Day 1

First day of our second week of school cancellation for COVID-19. Trying to find some kind of rhythm or routine to fall back on. Had to go pick up a packet of assignments for my second grader first thing this morning, and since then I've been doing double duty, trying to get my kids to do their school work and trying to get assignments and materials posted and checked for my high school students.

On one hand, I feel like I'm somewhat prepared for the week. I only have a few assignments I need to construct for my students, and I pretty much know what those are and what they will look like. On the other hand, I feel like I'm behind the eight ball because I have assignments to grade from the week before school got cancelled, and I have to get them all graded ASAP. This wouldn't be quite as hard to do if this felt like a "normal" school cancellation, like a snow day. But it doesn't feel like that at all. The novelty of being home has worn off for everyone, even the dog. The boys are chafing to go outside and do something, and are resisting doing their school work. I too am bored and tired of being inside; ennui is a powerful demotivator.

I know I need to get some stuff done, but I'm not really feeling it. Le sigh. Hopefully I can remotivate myself this afternoon.

Teaching During the Apocalypse: Week 1

Wow. So, it's been over three years since the last time I posted anything on my blog. Life completely got in the way: the kids' school and sports, work, laziness, you name it.

But I suddenly find that I have all kinds of time on my hands (while simultaneously feeling like I don't have enough time at all). One week ago today, the governor of Montana cancelled school for two weeks due to the appearance of the newest strain of coronavirus, COVID-19, in the state. We were one of the last states to have cases of the virus confirmed; but in just a week's time, we're up to 31 confirmed cases. Since the incubation period seems to be about two weeks, and during those two weeks the person is asymptomatic but contagious, I'm sure we will continue to see our number of cases growing exponentially as those who were in contact with the folks who were originally infected start to show their symptoms too, and then those who have been in contact with those folk, etc., etc., and on and on we'll go. There have been no deaths in Montana attributed to the virus, but sadly I suspect that will change soon too.

Back to my own situation: on the Friday before school was cancelled, we had a faculty meeting where we were told to start working on two weeks' worth of lesson plans and assignments that we could put online in the event of a school shutdown. Some of us were more ready than others; when we found out that school was indeed cancelled for two weeks, I already had my two weeks planned out (in fact, I had to scale back my plans when our administration told us to just post three meaningful assignments for the two weeks). I even arranged to have daily "office hours" in a video conferencing program so that I could talk face to face with any student who needed it.

In short, I thought I had things handled. As the week progressed, it became apparent that some things needed to change. Our district, and our school, wanted to unify all our approaches. They wanted to put all the information for the students in one location so it was easy to find. They wanted to find out which students were able to access online information and which students could not. All of a sudden, the flaws in our system started becoming apparent. Some of my colleagues, being less familiar with how to use technology to support their lessons, really struggled to get information together and lessons posted. Programs they had never gotten around to learning to use (or flat-out resisted learning) suddenly became mandatory, and they didn't have the support structure to learn to use them in the most effective ways. Some students weren't checking in online for a variety of reasons--they didn't have devices available with enough bandwidth or data, they didn't have internet at home, or they didn't have a responsible adult at home to "encourage" them to do assignments. A social disparity has become obvious: while most of our kids have the resources to do their schoolwork at home, not all of them do. The whole point of public education is access for all, and we are realizing that access looks very different than we thought it did. We think of our students as being "digital natives", but their expertise only extends to the technology they have regular access to. My former school is a 1:1 Mac laptop school with a distance learning facility on campus; as a school with a $12K/year tuition, it's a foregone conclusion that nearly all of their students are just fine with online learning. Ours here, not so much.

After one week, I still have a handful of students I haven't had contact with. I am planning to mail them some assignments, but there's no guarantee they will receive them, complete them, or return them. I am at a loss as to what I can do to support those students. And with one week down on our two week outage, I'm now having to prepare for the likelihood that we will be out beyond our two weeks. Our superintendent did a Q&A session online on Friday and admitted that he fully expects us to be out until at least mid April. That means we will have to move from finishing up work we were already doing and reviewing to presenting new material. What that will look like, I don't yet know.

But that's where we are. And none of that takes into account my attempts to get my elementary school kids to do the activities their teachers have posted on their apps. There's a reason I don't teach elementary. Several reasons, in fact.

So, I will be posting more often. I would like to get my students to do some journaling as well. After all, some day someone will do some research on the COVID-19 pandemic, and their journals will be primary documents. What was it like to be a student? What was it like to be a senior in high school? Hopefully I can get some of them to record their thoughts, even if it's just for their own benefit.

A sad day for San Diego sports

On January 15, 1995, I stood on my feet in Qualcomm Stadium with about 70,000 other fans to greet our San Diego Chargers after their electrifying AFC Championship victory over the Pittsburgh Steelers. It was an awesome experience. Fans were chanting, cheering, and singing as highlights of the season were shown on the Jumbotron. When the team's plane arrived at the airport, a camera crew was waiting for them, and filmed their drive from the airport to the stadium. The team was told their were fans waiting for them, but they had no idea just how many. When they walked into the stadium and onto the field? Incredible. The fans went nuts. The players teared up. Many of the players took turns speaking to the crowd: Stan Humphries, John Carney, Dennis Gibson, Junior. Replays of the "Immaculate Deflection" at the end of the game were played over and over. We all sang along with the "San Diego Super Chargers" theme song. And they were super. Oh yes.

Almost exactly 22 years later, I am sitting at my desk, trying to wrap my head around the news that the San Diego Chargers are no more. In less than an hour, Dean Spanos is supposed to hold a staff meeting with the Chargers employees to deliver the news that the Chargers franchise is moving to Los Angeles. After 56 years in San Diego, the Chargers are leaving.

I was not born in San Diego, but after an early childhood of moves every two years or so, I came to call San Diego my home in 1983 at the age of 8. We moved in early fall, just in time for football season. The Chargers (and the Padres) became my team, just as San Diego became my hometown. I lived in San Diego full time until I graduated from high school and still called San Diego home while I was in college. I moved away for good in 1998, but I still had family in town, so I came home for holidays. And I watched my Chargers.

My mom passed away in 2007, and my dad moved from San Diego the following year. My brother remained with ties in the area until a few years ago. Finally, he too moved to other places. The only remaining connections I have to San Diego are some friends who still live there and many memories. And, of course, the Padres and Chargers.

We've been through some good times with our sports teams, and, unfortunately, we've been through some very low times as well. But I've remained a Padres fan, and, until this most recent news, a Chargers fan.

Here's the thing. I understand that Spanos is a business owner, and that the NFL is a business. His goal isn't just to facilitate a love for the game; his goal is to make a profit. I can't fault him for that, and I can certainly see how a team like the Chargers, with it near-success seasons and dismal disappointments, could drain away his enthusiasm. I know that as ticket prices have risen and the team's performance has failed to rise with it, fans have stayed away from the stadium, choosing instead to watch or listen to games at home rather than pay heavy prices for tickets, food, and drinks. Yet even as overall enthusiasm seemed to sink lower and lower, I still heard fans say, "There's always next season." When the move to Los Angeles was proposed and the drama began to unfold, fans still said, "There's always next season" and "Maybe Spanos will keep the team here." We were granted what felt like a reprieve this season, with the team remaining in San Diego. Their performance was still disappointing, but I still heard "There's always next season."

And suddenly, there is no next season. Oh, sure, the franchise survives, but it's different. I guess what I'm realizing is, while I've always said, "I'm a Chargers fan," I was really saying, "I'm a SAN DIEGO Chargers fan." The Chargers were a part of the community that I called my home town. Now that they are moving, I've lost that connection to them, and to the city that I love.

Not only that, but Spanos is moving them to Los Angeles, the biggest rival city we have. San Diego has always prided itself on NOT being LA. Less pollution, fewer crowds, better beaches, and a way better attitude. I think Spanos has seriously underestimated San Diegans' dislike for all things LA. It may sound bitter or spiteful or petty, but I truly believe a majority of San Diego Chargers fans will not support the team anymore, because of the LA tacked onto the front (and because Spanos has become the enemy).

I blame Spanos, for putting money (that I think he's seriously miscalculated) ahead of history, loyalty, and civic pride. I blame the city for not putting up as much of a fight as they could.

I do not blame the players. As much as I wish they would have performed better over the years, I think players like Rivers have always loved the city as much as I do, and I think most of them will be heartbroken to pack their things this offseason and relocate. While they are playing for the same team next year, they won't be playing for the same fans, and these are guys who make a living because of the fans. They know us, and we know them.

There are a few things I hope for. I hope the players find success, because we truly love them. I hope the team is rebranded so that perhaps someday soon a new franchise or another franchise can come to San Diego and revitalize the San Diego Chargers fan base. I hope that the city can come up with a plan to better support their sports teams so that something like this doesn't happen again. And I hope that Dean Spanos realizes the terrible mistake he has made.

I will always root for my former San Diego players, just as I have continued to cheer for the success of Bolts like Drew Brees and Darren Sproles. Once a San Diego Charger, always a San Diego Charger. But my time rooting for the team itself, just like the team's time in San Diego, is over. I have no connection with the Los Angeles Chargers. Not my home town, not my team, not anymore.

Musings on a Nation, or, Step Away from Social Media

(First, 178.6. Stuck in a rut. Need a fat fast.)

So, we have a president-elect, and it is a surprise to many. Donald Trump, a man with no diplomatic experience, no military experience, and no political experience, is now the politician in charge of our diplomacy and our military. There's a lot of shock, anger, and sadness floating around on social media right now, as well as a lot of gloating douchebaggery.

I must admit to being surprised at this outcome. I absolutely expected to see Hillary Rodham Clinton as our next president. Trump rattled the establishment and somehow wrangled enough electoral votes to see his way through to the presidency.

Along with the anger, dismay, shock, and sadness I see in people's posts, I also see a great deal of irony. Many of my Clinton-supporting friends are PISSED OFF and looking for someone to blame, someone other than their candidate (who, sorry to say, was not a good enough candidate to garner enough support to win the election). I see people suddenly becoming bitterly intolerant, telling those who supported Trump and even those who voted for third-party candidates to "fuck off and die". I suspect the "unfriend" button is getting a workout today. Pretty ironic for a group of people who have been railing against the bitter intolerance of the Trump supporters for the entire campaign.

I understand, there are many people truly terrified at the outcome of this election. My friends in the LGBTQ+ community are worried about the status of their relationships and their lifestyles (to say nothing of their lives in some cases). I have friends with medical conditions, serious ones, who have come to rely on Obamacare for their insurance. They worry, with good reason, about what will happen to them if the AHA is tossed aside. I have friends who have experienced racism and sexism because of the color of their skin or their gender, who are afraid that those behaviors will not only continue but will be supported by a president who seems to be guilty of both.

I wish I could tell them that everything will be all right, but I can't. I didn't want Trump to be president.

But, here's the reason I'm backing away from social media for a while...I'm trying to avoid the backlash from all these friends of mine. Because I didn't want Hillary to be president either. I believe that her behavior regarding the emails was not only suspicious but inherently dangerous; she does not demonstrate the level or care and concern with sensitive and classified material that someone in her position should. I do believe that Hillary is responsible for the disaster that was Benghazi. I believe that she actively participated in the coverup surrounding her husband's infidelities. I believe she was involved in the Whitewater scandal. I believe that there is a suspicious trail of deaths of people who potentially could have provided damaging information around her. I don't feel that she was a good candidate for president, and obviously I was not the only one. I chose to vote for a third party candidate, because I believe that our election system is broken and that our two-party system only perpetuates the issues we face.

I heard many people say, "A third party vote is a vote for Hillary" or "A third party vote is a vote for Trump". I disagree. I think a third party vote is for many people either a vote for a candidate that more closely represents the values of someone than the main candidates do or a protest against the system. So many of my friends said, "Protest votes are great, but maybe this isn't the election to do so." Well, to that I ask, When IS a good time to protest, then? Nobody protests when things are going well. You protest when there is good reason to. I think this election shitshow was definitely reason to.

But now I face potential castigation from people because I exercised my right as an American to choose the candidate that I felt more closely aligned with my values. I am a fiscal conservative and a social liberal, like the libertarian party. I don't think government has the right to determine who marries whom or what we do with our bodies. I also think government has gotten us into trouble in the international business community with deals that have harmed our work forces and increased our energy dependency on foreign oil. I think we've shoved our military in places that they did not need to go. I think immigration needs to be reformed (not shut down). So I voted libertarian, and now I may lose friends because of it.

I'm angry at everyone. I'm angry at my conservative friends for not offering an olive branch to people who desperately need one, and at their lack of recognition of the damage that Trump can cause. I'm angry at my liberal friends who were so determined to try to shut down Trump that they were not willing to recognize the flaws in Clinton's candidacy. And I'm angry at all of them for trying to blame me, a third party voter who was trying to do what I felt was best for the country.

I admit to being a social media junkie, but I need to walk away for a little while. I'll acknowledge birthdays and stuff, but I need to stop reading people's posts for a while until everybody calms the fuck down. It will be interesting to see how many people drop me as a friend during that time. My friends are much more intolerant towards others than they think they are, I suspect.

Oh, what a difference a year makes.

I haven't been very good at blogging, which disappoints me, because I really do enjoy writing. I just haven't felt that I've had much to write about. But here I am at an anniversary, so I feel like this is a good time for a post.

Today's weigh-in: 179.6.

This is not quite my lowest weight in the year I've been on the ketogenic (HF/LC) diet, but it's close. I think my best weight was 177.8, some time last week. One thing I've learned about this diet is that it has a lot of ups and downs, both literally and figuratively. My weight can fluctuate within three or four pounds pretty easily. That is really frustrating, but it's also usually pretty easily handled. I have also found that some foods don't work for me. Anything with ground beef, whether it's in burger form, tacos, chili, whatever, seems to trigger some kind of water retention. I typically gain a couple of pounds after eating something like that, and usually lose it in the next few days (side note: tomorrow will probably see such a gain, as I had a cheat day today: it was Indian taco day at school today, and hell yes I had one). Something that seems to help me lose quick weight is a fat fast. Unlike our regular ketogenic diet, which puts our fat intake between 60-70% of our calories, the fat fast is more like 80-90% fat. One that I had read about that seems to work well for me is to eat about a brick of cream cheese a day, and that's it. I know that sounds weird, but it works. Another thing that seems to work for both me and my husband is to have scrambled eggs and bacon or sausage for dinner. The mornings after those dinners, we usually find that we've lost weight from the day before.

Anyway, the upshot (or downshot, or whatever) of all of this is that I've lost about 50lbs in the past year. That's pretty impressive, considering it's entirely from the diet; there has been no change in my physical activity. I walk 2-3 miles almost every weekday, with the dog. That's it, though. I do feel that my physical activity level will have to increase, though, because my weight loss has slowed to a crawl. I doubt that I will be able to lose a whole lot more without a change in my exercise plan. I don't know what would be best, jogging, weight lifting, or plyometrics, but I don't have a lot of options because we don't have our gym membership anymore. I need to figure out how to work out at home, when the boys aren't here (because they must be involved when they're home. yay).

I don't have an official goal as far as my weight loss is concerned. I honestly didn't think I'd manage to hang on this long. I struggled with the ketogenic diet mightily at the beginning (I just went back and reread my posts from a year ago, and they were hilarious in a sad, depressed sort of way). Having done it for a year now, I do think it is something I can continue, with occasional cheat meals (like Indian taco day at school). If I can get below 174, I'll beat the lowest weight I achieved back in 2007 when we worked out so much. If I could get below 155 (which I doubt very much), I'd be down to the weight I was at when I graduated high school. My lowest ever adult weight was about 123, but of course that was through very unhealthy means, so it doesn't really count.

I'm proud of myself for working through the difficulties at the beginning of the diet, and sticking with it this long. I've found lots of resources, mostly on Pinterest, for recipes that we've been able to use. I have high hopes that I'll at least lose a few more pounds, and that I'll be able to maintain my weight after that. Now I intend to improve my fitness...stay tuned.

Riding the Rollercoaster

A coworker of mine, who has put in far more years of teaching than I have, was muttering under his breath the other day, "The end of the school year is NOT a good time to ask if I want to retire." My next-door neighbor at school was asked by a student last week, "Do you just LOVE your job?" She looked him dead in the eye and responded, "Ask me in September."

Teaching is one of many professions (surely) that experiences tremendous and emotional highs and lows. I know the medical profession experiences something similar (probably much more powerful as life and death are frequently involved). Coming into the end of the school year, the highs are pretty fabulous, but the lows are pretty crappy.

This has been an interesting, and rough, few weeks for me. I received word a little over a week and a half ago that a member of my original class ('06) had passed away. She had lived a lifestyle that unfortunately included many excesses, and that contributed to her death. It was not an ending that I would have chosen for any of my girls, and it saddens me that she essentially chose it for herself, through her addiction.

While I was (and am) heartbroken over the loss of yet another student (bringing the total to six), it made me feel wonderful to think back over the many students I have had. I got to see those girls all come together to comfort each other and remember the good times, and it reminded me of all those things that I value so much about being a teacher: the joy of learning, the fun that happens in my classroom, the crazy and varied perspectives my students bring to the table, and the relationships they have all formed with each other. All these things make me so proud and happy to be a teacher.

But in the middle of this warm fuzziness I am experiencing, I am so over some other things. I've got a group of students this year that I just have not bonded with. I did not have a good experience last semester or this semester with the current sophomore class. Lots of students asking to leave my class early, or going to the bathroom or library and not returning. A couple students actively trying to drop out (their parents obviously won't let them) so they are putting forth no effort to prove a point (what point that is, I just don't know). A group of relatively smart kids who do as little as possible and are actively disruptive to the rest of the class. A couple of kids who struggle severely who would rather be perceived as slackers than have people know that they really, truly can't do the work. Two former students who have ended up in the news for very, very bad things (one got arrested for firing a gun in the air while intoxicated--at age 19--and one who is being hunted by the police for punching a girl in the face and breaking her jaw). I wish I could say that these behaviors surprised me when they ended up in the news, but sadly, they had doomed themselves long before these things occurred. I wish kids could see that they paths they choose pretty early in life, long before they fully recognize their consequences, will dictate where they head as adults. For way too many of them, it's either prison or an early grave.

I am sad and tired of these proceedings. On top of all this, I have all the usual rigamarole to accomplish: testing to administer, assignments to grade, assignments to create, lessons to teach, quizzes to give, and way too many phone calls regarding students failing my class.  All this, and I'm dangerously low on f*cks to give at this point. I just want to call it a day, go home, drink about four beers (which is way more than my low carb diet would allow) and start my summer break. But we still have 3 1/2 weeks to go, so I need to keep on keeping on. Each morning, I'll hop back on the rollercoaster for another round. But honestly, I'd rather go on the lazy river ride instead.

My dreams used to be exotic

My dreams used to be exotic: visiting new places and even new countries, stuff like that. Now, my dreams are of cleaning and organizing my house. Sad.

Pinterest does not do good things for my fantasy world. Instead of pinning fantastic places to my Places to Go board (which I have), I pin ways to organize my refrigerator, and ideas for building shelves in the wasted space under my stairs.

What happened to me? I swear I used to be more interesting than this.

Anyway, I have a bunch of ideas for projects this summer.

This first list is school-related:
1) I am moving back to my previous classroom (which is awesome because that room is bigger, has more windows, only shares one wall with another classroom, and has tile on the floor instead of nasty carpet). This means I need to do the following:
a) empty out my file cabinets--I've been working on a plan to change over all my files to binders and just keep extra copies of the important things (like short stories that are too costly to reprint). When I clean them out, I can take off all the hardware, repaint them, and make them look really cute. I'd like to keep one for actual files and the other for storage for things like videos and personal stuff.
b) redo my bookshelves--I have a classroom library that has gotten pretty extensive, and I've got several bookshelves that are already black. I'd like to spray paint the rest of them black and then modge-podge the shelves, maybe with pages from a dictionary or something. Or maybe I can wrap the shelves with contact paper or something. Or they can just be black. But it would be really nice to have the shelves all kind of match each other. I also need to finish tagging and alphabetizing my books.
c) I need to redo the TARDIS in the classroom--I'm pretty sure it's still covered with contact paper, which is good, but I may have to do some repairs. Then I need to transfer the decorations from the old classroom back to this one. Lots of posters to hang, but I can't really hang them until I have all the bookshelves where they need to go.
d) I'm starting to think that having my tv mounted on the wall isn't very practical (since it's had to be moved and remounted twice now). I might see if I can get a long dresser with some drawers that lock. I might be able to keep the video game consoles in there, if the drawers lock. And I can keep board games in the drawers too. I could put both tvs on the top of the dresser (if I can find a base for the one that is wall-mounted right now.

I have more plans, but this is the first list. I'll be back with some home-related stuff.