Isn't it the truth? The gym should be the place you go for health benefits, to lose weight, strengthen your muscles, and ultimately feel good about yourself. But instead, the clothing expected to be worn by those utilizing the gym can totally destroy your self-esteem.

Who invented spandex, anyway? I know it's useful and important (my swim team would have a lot of trouble with suits were it not for spandex), but has there ever been a material less forgiving? The only people who can wear it with ease are those who don't need it anymore because they're at their physical peak. Those of us for whom the tighter performance fabrics would be most beneficial are the ones who will not wear them because of the exposed lumps, rolls, and folds.

I get lots of catalogs, such as Athleta and Title Nine, that sell active-lifestyle clothing designed specifically for women. For cute little skinny women who spend a lot of time surfing, rock climbing, and doing yoga, apparently. I am not cute, little, or skinny, and I do not have any extra time for surfing (other than the net), I am afraid of heights, and I have the flexibility of a nun teaching in a Catholic school.

The only great thing I've ever gotten out of these catalogs was my sports bra. Now, this isn't one of those cute little stretchy jersey jobs that is colorful and fun, and designed to be worn in full view of everyone at the gym. Oh no. The style I wear was featured on Oprah and is designed for "larger" women who "don't want to bounce at all. Ever." It is purely unattractive, with about seventy-five cast-iron hooks in the front holding everything in. It has big thick straps and some extra support stitching in the back that would impress the designers of suspension bridges. It is thoroughly unappealing in every way. But it does work, by golly. There is no bouncing. Not ever.

Some day I would like to graduate from that bra to a cute little spandex top and some of those little boy-shorts. But, at the rate I've been making it to the gym, it'll probably be a long, long time before that happens. I need to just be happy that someone finally made a sports bra for those of us who cannot wear the cute workout clothes. If you ever go to my gym, you'll know me right away. I'm in big baggy clothes, with some nice new (expensive--my God, why do good athletic shoes cost so much? I had to replace my old shoes yesterday with ones that will keep me from pronating my ankles and help improve my plantar fasciitis, but dang, they were $135! Augh!) shoes, and I will have no visible rolls or folds, and I will not "bounce", ever.

SNOW DAY!



A little pine tree at the corner of my front porch




Icicles on the bushes out front




Icicles on the porch railing

Well, we didn't have to wait long after our disappointment yesterday for vindication. As the day progressed, with the girls (and teachers) in a sorry state of grumpiness over having to be at school, the weathermen at the news stations started warning that a second round of "winter weather" (I love how they say that; as if somehow the weather we've been having since December doesn't count as "winter") was on its way. We were all dubious at this point, having gotten our hopes up the day before only to have them dashed.

But sure enough, a little after 4 in the afternoon, it began to sleet. The administrators at our school went through the building, rounding up students who stay behind for afterschool activities and letting them call parents for rides home. There were rumors that it had started full-fledged snowing downtown, to the west of us. So I packed up my things (taking with me enough items to work on over the weekend if we were to not have school, although afraid that I would somehow jinx it by doing so) and headed home.

By golly, it really was snowing. Certainly not a white-out or blizzard conditions, but a pretty respectable weather pattern for a place that sees snow as infrequently as we do. The roads were wet but not slick. I had no trouble getting home, although I did notice those lines at the gas stations and grocery stores AGAIN. Didn't these people just load up on provisions yesterday?

Anyway, I went ahead and laid out my clothes and everything for work the next morning, really not expecting that we'd get enough to give us a holiday. My husband noted when we went to bed that the grass was starting to whiten. I shrugged it off.

But when I got up at 5 to take the dog out, OH GLORIOUS DAY! Tons of snow! Mountains! A new ice age! Well, OK, not really. But we did get a solid inch and a half, and that's gotta count for something. I turned on my laptop to check the news channels. Nothing yet. So I walked the dog (who LOVED it; he's only seen snow a few times in his life, and every time he realizes it is the greatest thing EVER. He rolls in it, kicks it up, snorts it, licks it, pounces on it, and generally has more fun than he's ever had doing anything else) and came back in for an update. This time, it was what I had hoped for. Our school, as a private school, doesn't really hinge on anyone else's decision-making: if our president decides we close, we close. But the president usually bases her decision on what the public schools in the area do, as well as what some of the other private schools do. Well, both public school systems in the county went down, and the privates schools followed close behind. So we shut down too. I gleefully crawled back into bed.

I'm really a little surprised we got the day off. I haven't been out driving, but I've walked on the roads, and even this morning at 5 they seemed less slick than yesterday. Also, it's warmer today, and I expect the overpasses and bridges that iced over yesterday probably didn't today, or at least not as much. Perhaps our president just decided that we needed a day off. I really think it's a good thing (even though it messes up my classes by putting one ahead of the others). The girls were all cranky and tired yesterday, disappointed in the weather and worried about their classmate. We've heard nothing new on her condition other than they are continuing to do MRIs to determine how extensive her head injuries are. I do not believe she has regained consciousness yet, although we were told she was squeezing family members' hands when they would talk to her. So our fingers are crossed and our prayers are active. But this gives the students a chance to go home, relax, and calm their minds. It makes for a great Groundhog Day.

And the little weasel even predicted an early spring. Who knew?

There are few things as frustrating in the world of education as a snow day that almost was.

In our little corner of the mid-South, we've come to understand that winter weather rarely means snow. This part of the country is simply a little too far south to get much in the way of wintry precipitation. Instead, if a storm moves through, we're more likely to get some ice, sleet, maybe hail, and otherwise just a miserably cold rain. I love the FoxTrot cartoon where the daughter is standing in the cold rain, stating, "Dante had it wrong. Hell is 33 degrees." That's our winter here.

So when a winter storm headed our way yesterday, everyone was in an uproar. The local city governments, determined to be better prepared than Oklahoma was a few months ago, sprayed down the roadways well in advance with antifreeze chemicals. They gathered sand to dump on the overpasses. And they checked the plows to see that they were geared up and ready to go. All day long we waited, watching a clear, cold day turn gray and ominous. Around dinnertime, a few scatter flakes appeared in the sky. I was still at school at that point, and the few students still around started squealing, "It's SNOWING!!!" I hopped in my car and headed home, gassing it up on the way to make sure it wasn't sitting around with an eighth of a tank (sad experience taught me gas lines can freeze when the tank is low). Others had the same idea, because there were lines at the gas stations and cars filling the grocery store parking lots. No one wants to get stuck at home for a couple days with no food. (Bill Engvall has a great riff on this: "Up to an inch of snow is headed to your area. We urge you to steal food, hoard gas. If you are an elderly American, you will not make it through this storm. An inch of snow, folks. Enough snow to make a footprint is headed to your area.") When I went to bed, I snuggled in with the satisfaction that I would get to sleep in and take a leisurely day to catch up on grading, lesson plans, and all those other fun things teachers get to do when they aren't at school (whoever thinks teachers only work from 7:30-3:30 is a complete moron).

So when I got up at 4 this morning to walk the dog, I was terribly disappointed to see, well, NOTHING. There was a little ice on my car, some on the steps and the porch railing, and the grass was crunchy in places, but the roads and sidewalks were simply wet. I was so dismayed I didn't feel like heading to the gym, so I sadly crawled back into bed. I was cruelly awakened by my husband's coworker calling at 5--I had high hopes it was the school calling to tell us they were canceling anyway. But no. I gave myself a few extra minutes on the way to work, thinking I might hit some slick patches on overpasses, but nothing at all.

The girls, of course, are despondent. They really needed a break, too. After coming back from Christmas break, they have to start second semester with enthusiam and energy (which doesn't happen). The season tends to be a bit depressing, and they've all got the flu and strep too. So everyone is weak and tired and sickly. To top it off, two of our students were in a bad car accident on Tuesday, and one is still in the hospital with pretty serious injuries. The girls are upset, concerned, and for many of them this is the first brush with their own mortality. So they could have used a mental health day.

And of all days, Thursday would have been perfect. It's the only day of the week I have all my classes (we teach a rotating block schedule), so no class would have gotten behind anyone else.

Oh well.